Don’t be a boob, keep your judgment to yourself!

I am on my second cold in six weeks, so I am probably feeling a little crunchier than usual. Damn kids! Between the kiddo being in school and my center that serves kids, I am surrounded by little germ vectors waiting to touch and infect me. Grrrrr.

Last night as I was trying to fall fast asleep but being thwarted by the pesky post nasal drip that kept making me coughing thus interfering with my ability to fall asleep and pissing me off even more. I started thinking about other things that piss me off; yeah when sleep is eluding you, might as well go off on a mental tangent! I found myself thinking that it seems lately in both my online and offline life I keep running into people who seem to fancy themselves experts who want to share all their knowledge with you. Problem is I never asked for your two cent opinion, but in today’s over share without boundaries world that doesn’t seem to stop anyone.

Everywhere I turn, I am running into the food and religion police or maybe I should call some em the anti-religion police. See, it works like this someone is living life and suddenly they are blinded by the light and all of sudden they have an epiphany and now they realize how bad certain foods are or they realize that they no longer believe in God or hell maybe they found God…whatever. The thing is they now feel compelled to proselytize about this new found process with every, and anyone. Never mind you didn’t ask them to, they just do it any fucking way. Now back a long long time ago, I used to do the same thing, and then I outgrew it. Unsolicited opinions even when giving under the guise of being helpful frankly are annoying and generally you never sway anyone so give it up!

Having traveled the path of having no faith to faith and to no faith and back again, I am willing to give most folks a break. In many ways spirituality for me is a fluid and always evolving process. I get the enthusiasm, I really do. That said, what I don’t get is the judgment, why is it that people who choose to believe in a higher power whether it’s the Hummus Idol, God, Vishnu or whatever you want to call it are often deemed silly, non-thinkers by those who have decided they no longer believe? I mean really unless you have died and come back to life, frankly do any of us know? In the end what we choose to believe in is a lot like who we choose to love, sometimes its rational and well thought out and sometimes it’s a feeling that we follow. Even the most rational thinkers occasionally follow the gut and see where it leads them.

Now on to my pals, the food police. Food judgment makes me mad, it makes me very mad. For starters food has gotten ridiculously expensive, so much so that in order to continue my addiction to local fruits, veggies and meat that I have started buying the staples at the evil Wal-Mart. Yet last week even the evil Wally is getting high, imagine my surprise when my stockpile of flour, toilet paper and all that jazz rang up at over $200! Fuckin Aye! Thankfully I can still afford it but shit, that says nothing for what I spent last week alone at the local Farmers Market! While food prices go up, I don’t know about you but my income has not exactly increased to take this increase in food prices into consideration but I do the best I can. This increase in food means many people base their diet off what they can afford, know how to prepare and will actually eat.

Food judgers often like to tell you what you should eat, like my religious pals, they often have had a later in life conversion, growing up with the standard American Diet and suddenly learning that food is quite versatile. They eat their first batch of kohlrabi slaw, read some websites, etc. and now they are an expert on food for not only them but you. You know the type, I have one I eat lunch with occasionally who loves to nag me about my occasional soda…ummmm, I drink exactly 1 maybe 2 sodas a week, pretty much having reached the stage in life that soda and I are not pals anymore. Yet this particular person loves to ride my ass about that single soda. Give me a fucking break!

These folks always have suggestions about how you can eat better never mind that like the religious folks, you didn’t ask their input and heaven help you if you have kids, they really are filled with advice. I have a picky eater, a picky at times underweight eater. Let me tell you when she went through the McDonald’s phase, I was happy, it meant she actually ate a meal with little drama. Sadly that phase is over and she has approximately like 10 items she will eat without complaint, needless to say meal time is a barrel of laughs for me. Same kid has grown up at CSA’s and farmers markets, all our area farmers know my kid by name. Last year her class went on a field trip to a local farm and her teacher thought it was neat how the farmers knew mini me. Like I said we eat local a lot! At least I buy it and some of us eat it.

The thing about food judgers though is much like religious/non-religious fanatics is they assume you know squat. Funny thing is I am a former vegetarian, back in the days when foodyism was not a hobby, there were no blogs and Whole Foods was not a household name. Back when I was a vegetarian, I had limited choices of places to eat outside my home even in Chicago because pretty much the only vegetarians/vegans were pretty much considered to be hippy types. I enjoyed being a vegetarian but started having health issues that pretty much brought me back to the meat. I enjoy meat in moderation and the great thing about getting older is my body does not hesitate to speak up when I overindulge.

Look, people should be free to make the choices they feel comfortable about, don’t dig on a higher power, fabulous! Want to eat a macrobiotic diet? Groovy. If it works for you, I am happy! Really I am my issue is when you start judging me and assuming me to be an ignorant boob because I don’t want to do what you do. True diversity is about accepting the full range of human expression even if it does not reflect your thoughts. So lighten up, enjoy your choices, I will enjoy mine and as long as we can be respectful of each other, it’s all gravy and hell I will even make that vegetarian gravy!

PS: Lest you call me a hypocrite, I am working on my own judgment, hey…it’s a work in progress.

5 thoughts on “Don’t be a boob, keep your judgment to yourself!”

  1. I hate super judgy people.

    That said, I have one area where I know myself to get judgy (and I hate me for it too when I catch myself, so at least that’s something). And that one area kind of falls into your second category. Except I am a quiet judgy person and don’t give my opinions out to anyone. And it really isn’t about food specifically but more about maintaining a healthy weight (not super model thin, by the way- just HEALTHY).

    THAT SAID, Who the hell am I to tell ANYONE about healthy ANYTHING? No one. That’s who. I smoke and I drink and I do plenty of other things I am sure that are either mentally or physically unhealthy. Including my current lack of faith. I think that faith makes us healthier individuals on a mental/spiritual level. I wish I had me some of that these days. Honestly. I’ve just found it hard to come by.

    They don’t carry it at Walmart.

  2. Well everyone is judgmental it’s an automatic thing no matter how people say otherwise. I can be very judgmental, however 9 times out of 10 I just keep it to myself (because most of the time it’s snap judgments which are never good) unless I just can’t stand it. Like I judge harshly the stinky girl in one of my classes. She is not a foreigner so I really don’t expect her to be smelling like an onion patch. I don’t care if you like deodorant, don’t bath everyday but when you have to be around other people you need to be more considerate.

    I’ve never been a religious person but when I started down the Buddhist path which I have derailed from I was told that I was being arrogant when I talked about how I felt about Buddhism and my views of Christians. I know more about Christians but not so much about Christianity and I will speak my views when I want in context whether the other person agrees with them or not. But I don’t force a person to listen.

    • I agree we all are judgmental but like you in most instances I keep it to myself unless it’s appropriate to share. I don’t have an issue with anyone’s faith or lack thereof, it’s just when people starting judging and vocalizing something is wrong with those of us who don’t agree with them that I get pissed off.

      Yeah stinky girl gets the judgment unless she has a valid medical reason for funking up the joint!

  3. My wife linking to my “Acts of the Hummus Idol” feature at my blog may be one of the sweetest things she’s done. Thanks honey! (I didn’t even know you were aware of Hummus Idol…)

    By the way, nice post, too. Annoying evangelicals are annoying no matter what their faith and/or ideology.

    – Deacon Blue (aka BGIM’s Spousal Unit)

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