Its just a snapshot folks

Just zooming by for a quick post…summer has finally arrived for more than a day up here in Maine and I want to embrace it since knowing Maine weather, if I blink it will be gone.

However since coming home this afternoon and while I am enjoying a bit of downtime before we all come together as a family, I have been making my abbreviated rounds in cyberspace and something hit me….you ever go to a blog or even talk to some whose life seems so perfect? Especially if it’s as a time when your own life feels a tad crazy? Lately I seem to have a lot of those days when I wonder why can’t my life be like so and so? 

Well the reality hit me that I have my life and for better or worse its the one I am meant to have but more importantly a sudden thought hit me, no ones life is perfect and when we see our friends and associates with the seemingly perfect life that all we are doing is seeing a snapshot. Especially in Mommy blogland, there are those bloggers who while they are not trying to  make the rest of us feel like idiots, we do because their lives seem so perfect, well groomed, well behaved kids, loving partner who earns enough for costly hobbies…you know the deal.  I know as a working mama who most days is happy that she works, all it takes is one bad day with girl child and one visit to a few select Mama bloggers and I swear I feel like the world’s worst Mama. Nevermind that the work I do not only benefits by kids directly with the cash I earn but that I assist families in need every day.

Some days its just comes down to the fact that I am feeding girl child scrambled eggs and fruit again for dinner because I am too tired to whip up a home-cooked feast (but hey those eggs come from a local farm…no mistreated eggs for my girl…LOL) Of course that Mama who makes the home-cooked feast with a sweet treat has her own woes. Maybe money is not her issue like it is mine but the truth is we all got our crosses to bear.

So remember if you think someone else has a perfect life, remember we all have bad days, relatives we wish we could trade it and general issues in life.

Just a rambling thought as  I pass by today, anyway back to relaxing I go.

Too much information?

It seems that my most recent post discussing my marriage has created a buzz, since Sunday I have heard from a few real life friends who felt that I either went too far by putting the Spousal Unit on blast or the flipside has been a few of my girls who told me they are in the same place and never felt like they could talk about the issues I brought up.

I won’t lie, truth is I was very hesitant to publish that post yet at the same time, there was a real need to say what I did and not necessarily  to just one or two folks. In the past couple of years, I have watched several good friends get divorced and in all cases the divorces even the “nice” ones are still messy. I have been divorced and its not a pleasant thing, families fracture, kids get bounced around and the list goes on.

No, when I remarried years ago, I knew it was important to marry someone I could always be honest with since truth be told had I written what I wrote about the Spousal Unit about my ex-husband, there is a chance that well, it would not have been good and I will leave it at that.

Yet in the age of the internet, are there times when one can reveal too much information about themselves online? The answer is yes, but at the same time I think that while so many of us stay connected 24/7, I think the sad reality is that most of  that “connection” is superfical. We are living in a time and space, where we can facebook, twitter, and use a vast array of tools to tell folks how we are doing, yet let’s be real who states in their facebook update “I am facing a moral dilemma”? I have yet to see that and I suppose if I did, most folks who would reply would do so in a cute and superficial way.

Nope, we do a lot of talking these days and sometimes reveal way too much about ourselves but at the same time we don’t reveal our true selves…instead we reduce ourselves down to cute and digestable soundbytes. I will be honest, I am at a stage in my life where I am all about being real and honest and recognizing that my quest to be real and honest may at times cause folks to go WTF???

There is something about getting older and seeing society shift from a place where we talk a ton but say nothing that has me wanting to get deeper, I neither want nor need to be nice or stay only on the surface. I think about how in recent months as our nation faces the worse economic crisis in years, we hear about tortured souls who decide to take their lives rather than face economic uncertainty. After these folks kill themselves and in some cases their families, inevitably we hear that they were nice folks…no one saw it coming. Of course not, no one wakes up and says today is a good day to kill myself, after coffee and an Egg McMuffin, I think I will finish it off with a taste of bullet to the head.

Nope, these folks are often stewing and brewing for a while yet for many of us we no longer are able to connect in a meaningful way that might prevent such tragedies from happening in the first place.

So while I do think there is a line we can cross as far as going too far when it comes to revealing ourselves in a public space at the same time by dropping our masks we can create opportunties to connect with others in a meaningful way.