As women I think sometimes its quite easy to get caught up in our roles (mother, partner, daughter, etc) so much so that we lose sight of whom we are. In most cases if someone asked us who are we, we would probably respond with “Well my name is XYZ and I am the mother to ABC, partner to EFG and I work at MNO” Yet does that really say who we are? It says what we do, it explains the various hats we wear but deep down it says nothing about who we are. Until recently that would have been my answer but I am tired of that being my answer. I not only want to know who I am but today after a powerful coaching session I am ready to return myself to my rightful owner…me.
Having children early in life gave me little time for self exploration, after all its hard to plumb your inner self when you are trying to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. It’s really only been recently that I have started to ask myself who the fuck am I? According to Joan Borysenko my life stage of 35-42 is the time that most women start to ask these questions, when we have spent just enough years as adults in some cases fulfilling others expectations for us or doing what we think we want but the cusp of middle age for many women is when we lose that fear of asking the hard questions. I suspect we crave them, hell we need them. Much like our bodies during PMS put out specific requests and we can either give in or ignore the request.
In asking myself the heavy questions to the point of even questioning my very faith, I have greater clarity and peace on many levels. Yet there is still the hard work of actually getting to what I want which in some cases means being willing to put myself out there, it means taking risks. Though in many cases nothing worth having happens overnight yet it’s all part of the journey of getting to self, where there is seamless integration between who we really are and the many roles we fulfill.
For me I am starting to acknowledge I am a seeker of knowledge, a truth teller, a rabble rouser who is passionate and sensual in all that I do, it informs every area of my life. I am learning to say yes to myself more often when I want something. I ask for what I need and occasionally even take it. I strive to be intentional and present in all that I do for when I live this way there is greater harmony in my life. I connect better with friends; I am more loving with my kids I can give more to my partner and not feel ragged and incomplete.
Right now the most important work I have is to return myself to my rightful owner…me. What about you? What’s important to you, what are you seeking, are you in balance in all areas of your life?
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