The new motherhood and lack of common sense

Food stamps and government assistance. It would seem to me that if a person found themselves in a rough financial jam that resulted in the use of government assistance to make one’s financial ends meet, that such a person would choose not to add any additional family members while going through such rough financial times. Right? Well, depending on who you are the answer may be no. Why let a silly detail like lack of money get in the way of bringing more humans in the world. After all, all the children need is love….who cares about silly details like shelter, food, clothes, medical care and all the other minutia that children seem to need.

Turns out that Nadya Suleman, wonder Mama extraordinaire is getting a little help off the good taxpayers in California, a state  that from what I hear is in some serious financial straits. It seems Nadya is getting some food stamps and disability payments for a few of her older kids. Call me crazy but if I were the single Mama of 6 kids, several of whom had disabilities severe enough that they warrant disability payments, why the fuck would I have 8 more kids?

Well I am growing convinced that there is a segment of women in our society who see motherhood as the be all and end all, women who in my humble opinion seem to worship at the alter of motherhood. I see this around me enough that its no longer what I consider a coincidence.

Look, I will be honest and say I was never a girl who dreamed on becoming a mommy, I was a reluctant Mama the first time around and over the years while I have grown to love being a mother, the truth remains being a mother is just one part of whom I am. I don’t define myself strictly on the basis that I have given birth, maybe its because my eldest will be a legal adult come his next year but I am reminded that parenting is just one of the many seasons those of us who have kids  will have in our lives. Don’t get me wrong, we never stop being parents, I saw this when my own beloved mother was dying yet in the midst of that final season she was still Mama….making what would be the last meal her hands would ever prepare for me the night before going in for brain surgery. Its those things that keep us parenting even when our babies are grown.

Yet some women become so wrapped up in babies and the thought of having them that common sense goes out the door. Just yesterday I ran across a woman who is married to a high school dropout who bags groceries for a living and makes $8.50 an hour. This young family is living with inlaws but the young mother hates her kid being in daycare and wants to quit her own minimal paying job to be a stay at home Mama.

Um….when you live with inlaws and don’t make much cash, its time to toss certain desires to the side until you are in a better place. Look being a stay at home Mama is great, but when a family can afford it. In most case if you are living with family members, guess what? You cannot afford not to work.

Yet once again that mommy desire is so deep that it seems to prevent common sense from taking over. Like I have said earlier, in a perfect world, I would have a house full of babies and probably stay home with them. Yet my reality is I am married to a middle aged guy in a dying career and have my own mountain of student loan debt with one kid starting to get ready for college. None of this makes it a wise time for me to throw out my common sense and follow my passion. Instead I pray that the spousal unit and I live long enough and after we finish raising the youngest we can retire to some lovely locale like Belize.

Motherhood really is great but so is common sense.

Nobody has any common sense it seems

I generally like to relax on the weekends but as more details emerged about this story, I just have to say something. Look if you want to have kids and you physically need some assistance to make that happen, I think its great that we live in a time and place where the medical technology exist where the once barren can have a child.

The issue I have is when folks who already have a few kids decide to play the life lotto and fuck around and end up with a damn football team worth of kids. In this most recent instance a woman with 6….read 6 kids, which by today’s standards is a pretty big family decides to get some medical assistance to have another child. Um….to quote my late great Mom, are you on dope or dog food? Seriously who in their right mind does that shit. Even Kate and Jon Gosselin only had 2 when they took the leap and now they have 8.

No, in this latest case Nadya Suleman ends up having 8 babies. Eight babies!!! Look I think babies are cute, shit I had 2 but and I am a Christian, if I fucked up and got pregnant with 8 babies at one time, God would have to send me a really clear sign to make me proceed otherwise, we would have to lose a few embryos. Yeah, I am cold like that but God knows my heart and he knows that me and 8 babies at one time would not be good for my sanity.

Let’s get back to this woman, so she gets pregnant after getting some assistance and is carrying 8 babies, but lets not forget the 6 she already has…let’s count, 6+8= 14. 14 kids!!! I don’t know but at some point some common sense should have prevailed starting with why the fuck would a doctor aid a woman in getting pregnant when she already has 6 kids.  So in this instance we not only have a woman who while she may loves babies isn’t quite thinking clearly, we have doctors who you think would try to discourage this sort of thing. I mean shit in some states  a pharmacist can’t be made to give a woman the morning after pill, if they morally object, certainly a doctor should be able to go, look this is a bad idea and I am not doing it.

Nope, its just further proof of the lack of common sense that has taken hold of us as a nation, folks spend money they don’t have and can’t figure out why their finances are jacked. Mine are fucked too but at least I am owning it. You have ex-governors running around caught on tape doing dumb shit, then claiming the world is out to get them. No, you simple Simon mothafucker, you are just stupid. Maybe shaking folks down on the phone where you could be taped is just a bad idea.

Anyway I wish Nadya Suleman luck with her babies and why do I think a tv show could be around the corner ala  the Duggars and Kate and Jon.