Resurrection, transformation and oh yeah sex!

It’s Easter Sunday and as a practicing Christian (yep, yogi’s can be Christian too) who heads a faith based agency; one might expect me to blog about the day. Of course being me, why ever would I do that? I always march to my own drum regardless of what day it is. Instead last night as I was headed to bed, I realized it’s been a while since I wrote anything racy, so why not pick today? Resurrection, transformation and oh…sex.

Seriously though all jokes aside, I have noticed something both in my offline and online life, people especially women (not all but enough) tend to get squeamish when talk turns to sex. I mean it’s 2012 and we all like to consider ourselves enlightened and many of us will now even we say we are sex positive but considering how many of us refuse to utter anything more than vagina (hello it’s not just a vagina, it has parts!) and heaven forbid talk turns to things like adult sex toys, we start blushing like crazy. Yet we are sexual beings, hell if you have kids chances are you stripped down to your birthday suit and did the horizontal mambo, so why the discomfort?

I think ultimately the reason we are uncomfortable truly acknowledging and embracing our sexual selves is fear of judgment. Old societal messages say a woman who enjoys sex is “bad” and despite attempts to dismantle such thinking for many of us those messages are deep at our core. It’s why despite the increase or at least increased media attention to things such as open marriages or polyamory, most of us when we hear of people participating in such relationships, still raise our eyebrows in shock.

Old messages about what is proper for a woman create situations where women struggle to own their sexual identity instead hiding it. If you call yourself sex positive but struggle with the idea of walking into a store to buy yourself a toy or two, you might not quite be sex positive, since according to the Center for Sex Positive Culture: The sex-positive movement is a social and philosophical movement that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.”  Sure it’s entirely possible you have a partner that sexually rocks your world every single day and maybe you truly have no need for anything extra, but considering what stats say about female orgasms, chances are a little help from a friend every now and there is no shame in that. Hell, men embrace those little pills that keep em going like the Energizer Bunny.

I admit as a woman and mother I truly look forward to a day when women will be comfortable declaring themselves heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual and even pansexual without any fear of judgment or backlash. Until such time, we can start taking baby steps and places like EdenFantasys is a great place to test the waters from the comfort of our homes. Life is too short to be anything other than who you are in all your amazing being!

This post is sponsored by EdenFantasys

 

 

 

 

Almost V-day…be sexy for you!

Tis the season for love and romance with Valentine’s Day just mere days away, are you ready? If you are anything like me, past a certain age Valentine’s Day does absolutely not a thing for you. I mean can’t you let me know you love me all the time? Why do we need a “special” day to share that love? Let’s just love each other all the time, though I will say I do appreciate the chocolate covered strawberries that are available on Valentine’s Day.

Seriously though, after the early dating years and first few years of marriage, I told the partner man to not worry about V-Day.  That said I am all about ways to feel sexy and attractive just for the hell of it. When I was younger and not carting around a few extra pounds, a saggy belly and less than perky twins, sexy was more external, sexy meant a sleek outfit and heels. I am in a different place in my life now, for starters, heels make my feet hurt, and if I want to look sleek I need either a corset or my nemesis otherwise known as Spanx. No, sexy at this stage in my life starts with me and is less about being sexy to anyone other than me. Granted a sexy state of mind will generally radiate outward regardless of what one is wearing. We all know that gal who is sexy and we can’t figure it out. She is walking around in old Danskos and faded yoga pants but something about her makes us want to have a girl crush on her.

So while a positive state of mind can lead to sexy, there are a few other things I like to use when I want to be sexy. Remember learning about kegels when you were pregnant? If you were anything like me, you probably learned about kegels and promptly forgot about them too. Of course a few years after the kiddos arrival you find yourself wishing you had paid attention and learned those kegels. Well, have no fear, it’s not too late.  You can tighten up below and add a little spark in your daily walking around by using ben wa balls or even jade eggs. EdenFantasys, my favorite place when I am in the need of some adult toys for my personal toy box carries ben wa balls.  The beauty of ben wa balls is you can strengthen your vaginal muscles and make yourself smile; if you are feeling really bold, you can head out for the day with ben wa balls in place and leave everyone wondering why you have a big smile on your face. Kids making a mess, no worries!

I admit this probably sounds racy or even a tad strange, but seriously stuff like this which I do strictly for myself, makes me feel good and when I am feeling good, damn it, I am sexy. So sure maybe you want to do something for that special someone in your life on Valentine’s Day but how about doing something for you?

This post is sponsored by EdenFantasys

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The path to some cash as a blogger

Thanks to the explosion of social media (whatever did we do to kill time before Twitter and Facebook), the blog world is not quite what it used to be. As I have said before, I discovered blogs back in late 2004-2005 when pregnant with the now six year old. Tackling motherhood after a 13 year hiatus, and with no relatives to annoy me with advice, I needed someplace to get my advice and the interwebz was the perfect place. Back then, the Mama blogs were just starting to sprout up like the weeds that pop up in my yard when we’ve played ignore the lawn for one too many weeks!
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All jokes aside, back in the old days of blogging, it was a simpler time. Seriously you could sign up for a free blog account, find a free template to use and voila you were a blogger. If you either had something good to say, took great pictures or were witty as hell, well you had readers. Back in the dark ages, all you did was write on your blog, visit other blogs, if you wanted to take it to the next level you left comments, added folks on your sidebar, simple shit. Seriously back then, a blogger could spend an hour a day on the blog and might actually have a fair number of readers.
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Alas all good things come to an end, and in recent years, blogging has become monetized. There is nothing inherently wrong with that, hell people should earn money from their labor and the truth is blogging these days at times is more labor than fun. If you expect to get readers, you need to have a Facebook and Twitter presence at the very least; only the biggest bloggers can get away with a minimal presence on social media. Chances are though if you are reading me and you are a blogger, you aren’t one of the big name folks and you are putting in a lot of time trying to grow your blog.
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The thing though with monetization is that it is not easy. The reality is people enjoy reading blogs but very few readers want or can support the actual writers of blogs. As I have learned and heard from bloggers far larger than yours truly, things such as a tip jar never get any tips. You have your blog publishing networks which I have also learned if you are not a big blogger won’t even treat the family to a meal at the Golden Arches. You can try and sell your own ads but that is time consuming and unless you are trying to turn the blog into a career the end result is not worth the output in most cases. Of course there are ads through places like Google Ad but again, will you even be able to treat yourself to a fancy latte once a month? Probably not. I keep hearing all this talk of brands reaching out to bloggers but have yet to see it, of course I have no snazzy photos and I write too damn much, so I am probably not a candidate for any brand to reach out to, I accept this.
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So what’s a blogger to do who wants to at least earn a few shekels to cover the cost of running a blog in this new blog world? Well, that’s where EdenFantasys came in for me, they have several great programs for bloggers and unlike a lot of places there are no fancy hoops to jump through. Now I know a lot of folks when they hear of Eden Fantasy’s they think adult toy shop and think, sorry…not for me. I admit I thought that too after all since I blog under my real name and in my real life my work world may not want to know about my sex life, the truth is we are sexual beings.
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I was initially tentative about partnering with EdensFantasys but with programs such as their Banner and Text Ad program and tasteful and discrete ads that result in paying cash, I decided to think again. In addition to running banner ads and being paid in cash they offer programs such as writing product reviews which can result in getting some nifty toys (toys are cool and you know it!) as well as the sponsored posts where you can earn gift cards to use on their site.
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I admit I was on the fence, but as someone who likes to play at times and is a member of the Broke Phi Broke club, I know that for me earning even gift cards that I can use on items that I might be too cheap to use my hard earned cash to buy is still a good thing. Sure many of the “professionals” will tell you don’t work for gift cards and that it cheapens your work and the work of others. That’s great advice but not reality for many of us, frankly earning either money or items that I truly enjoy add to my life. I am not a career blogger, blogging is a hobby for me and a hobby that is time consuming and being able to at least surprise the man occasionally is a great thing!

I also appreciate the ease with which EdenFantasys makes it for bloggers to work with them, unlike other groups I have worked with; I can honestly say it’s been a nice working relationship thus far. So for my fellow niche and small bloggers out there thinking of dipping a toe into the monetization pool, I actually would suggest checking out Eden. Long time readers know I did time with a large but will not be named publishing network and I can say thus far dealing with Eden has been far nicer than that past relationship test into the monetization pool.

This post was sponsored by EdenFantasys.com

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