It’s Easter Sunday and as a practicing Christian (yep, yogi’s can be Christian too) who heads a faith based agency; one might expect me to blog about the day. Of course being me, why ever would I do that? I always march to my own drum regardless of what day it is. Instead last night as I was headed to bed, I realized it’s been a while since I wrote anything racy, so why not pick today? Resurrection, transformation and oh…sex.
Seriously though all jokes aside, I have noticed something both in my offline and online life, people especially women (not all but enough) tend to get squeamish when talk turns to sex. I mean it’s 2012 and we all like to consider ourselves enlightened and many of us will now even we say we are sex positive but considering how many of us refuse to utter anything more than vagina (hello it’s not just a vagina, it has parts!) and heaven forbid talk turns to things like adult sex toys, we start blushing like crazy. Yet we are sexual beings, hell if you have kids chances are you stripped down to your birthday suit and did the horizontal mambo, so why the discomfort?
I think ultimately the reason we are uncomfortable truly acknowledging and embracing our sexual selves is fear of judgment. Old societal messages say a woman who enjoys sex is “bad” and despite attempts to dismantle such thinking for many of us those messages are deep at our core. It’s why despite the increase or at least increased media attention to things such as open marriages or polyamory, most of us when we hear of people participating in such relationships, still raise our eyebrows in shock.
Old messages about what is proper for a woman create situations where women struggle to own their sexual identity instead hiding it. If you call yourself sex positive but struggle with the idea of walking into a store to buy yourself a toy or two, you might not quite be sex positive, since according to the Center for Sex Positive Culture: “The sex-positive movement is a social and philosophical movement that regards all consensual sexual activities as fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, and encourages sexual pleasure and experimentation.” Sure it’s entirely possible you have a partner that sexually rocks your world every single day and maybe you truly have no need for anything extra, but considering what stats say about female orgasms, chances are a little help from a friend every now and there is no shame in that. Hell, men embrace those little pills that keep em going like the Energizer Bunny.
I admit as a woman and mother I truly look forward to a day when women will be comfortable declaring themselves heterosexual, bisexual, homosexual and even pansexual without any fear of judgment or backlash. Until such time, we can start taking baby steps and places like EdenFantasys is a great place to test the waters from the comfort of our homes. Life is too short to be anything other than who you are in all your amazing being!
This post is sponsored by EdenFantasys