Being yourself

Last night my body decided it wasn’t happy just battling seasonal allergies but needed to add a common cold to the mix, the combination of pesky allergies and a cold sent me to bed earlier than usual which meant I had time to indulge in some mindless TV watching since my brain was too bogged down to read a book. I should mention that I am not a regular TV watcher, I have no favorite shows and can’t even begin to tell you what the fall line up looks like. The last time I watched TV with any regularity was when I was pregnant with the daughter and took up watching ‘My Name is Earl’ however once mini-me came that was the end of the TV viewing. The only exception is when my insomnia is kicking my ass and I flip between Nick @ Night, TV Land, Vh-1 and occasionally the E channel. Even Lifetime movies are no longer as appealing as they used to be years ago, too formulaic and too depressing.

So last night while laid up and hacking my lungs up, I settled on watching the E channel and checking out Dr. 90210… why, is that shit on tv? I admit it was my intent to keep flipping between channels but seeing the Black doctor and then the cheese-ball youngish doctor who I swear thought he was a model, piqued my interest yet it was the patients that really got me.

Let’s see, there was a young interracial couple where the young Black man was looking to get some surgery done because despite his daily exercise routine, his abs were not as tight as he wanted them to be, guess he had a hint of love handles and wanted the abs of Fifty Cents the rapper. Apparently the Black doctor who himself had a 8 pack was going to liposculp the brothas body to perfection.. wow! Brotha-man’s  old lady, a young white girl wanted a new nose. It seems they were both performers and wanted even better bodies, now at the end of the show, we were treated to a performance by the plastic duo, if only someone had given them some talent. Now seeing young folks fuck with nature while silly, pissed me off less than the other patient on the show.

The other patient was a white woman who had had several kids, at least one was grown and Moms looked to be just a tad older than me so she was probably just a hair over 40. She wanted a tummy tuck and some new breasts. Now I will confess I like to joke that if I had the cash, I would get both of these done but truth is for the most part I am happy with the body I got. Admittedly after 2 kids, years of breastfeeding and a ton of weight loss, I got the flab and sometimes I am bugged but the older I get I have an appreciation for the body I have, it’s served as a vessel for life, its literally provided nourishment and barring a health need, at the end of the day it just seems wrong to go fucking with it for vanity sake.

I shared all this to say that the older I get the more disturbed I am by the fact that folks are less willing to accept the bodies they were given. Too many of us buy into the media hype that says we must be perfect but who the fuck is really perfect? None of us, who even wants to be perfect? Like I said young folks though it saddens me, I understand wanting more physically but it used to be you got older and with age came wisdom and frankly at 40 wanting the body of a 20 year old is silly.. now I admit I wish I had the enrgy of a 20 year old but these days I look at young folks and I am glad I made it through my youth.

I think its a sad commentary on our society that we even have shows like this on the air and in light of the freewheeling last decade where it seems we all got caught on the consumption roller coaster, shows like this seem to tap into that desire to have more, to be more yet do flat abs, or big breasts make you a better person? I think not. Back when I was in my early 20’s, I had a body that wouldn’t quit and my self confidence was nil, it was only when I stopped focusing on that outer appearance that I came to know and love me.

Shows like Dr. 90210 only seem to reinforce that being yourself is not enough but I think being who you are is more than enough. Shit, if I was single and some cat decided he didn’t like the belly pooch that no matter what I do won’t go away, I’d tell him to take a hike.. I say love yourself and accept what you were given.

Off I go to hack some more and sip my steamy mocha misto.