The decision to write a personal blog and share details of your personal life is an incredibly vulnerable experience and while it can bring many rewards it can also bring much criticism. In the past year, the criticism that I have heard from readers at times has left me incredibly raw and on the brink of saying the hell with it though I have continued on.
Lately my vulnerability has been on full display as I decided to enlist my readers to help me reach a goal, but tonight I am pulling the plug. Not so much because of the criticism but because frankly I am no one’s beggar and asking for assistance online frankly feels like panhandling.
In the 15 plus years that I have been in the non-profit sector, I have worked my way up from a grunt position that barely paid more than minimum wage to being an Executive Director and consultant. I did it by working hard, being true to myself and never wavering in my integrity. I never begged anyone to get where I am professionally and as much as I want to make some changes in my life, if it involves me begging, it’s not going to happen.
It’s become clear in the past couple of days especially as my son who when he is not being a college student or moonlighting as an up and coming artist, got a call about going on tour with one of his musical idols, that trying to go to BlogHer ’12 was probably going to be more trouble than it’s worth. Since my kiddo is pulling double duty working for me this summer and he needs some time off at the same time I would be in NYC. It wouldn’t be impossible but with me gone, it would stretch my already small crew.
As much as I want to go to this conference, what I want more is to grow as a writer and I suspect I don’t need this conference to make that happen. More like a cabin in the woods and time.
So to those who have supported me, I say thank you, to date approximately $160 total has been raised to send me to BlogHer’12. If anyone who donated wants a refund, please let me know otherwise I will use all funds to cover the costs of hosting this site and for upkeep and even a cup of coffee. I have put the tip jar back up, as always if you enjoy what you read here, feel free to tip your writer. I accept very little in the way of paid advertising, so tips keep me going since I put in a fair amount of hours into this blog on a weekly basis. I do it as a labor of love, but hey, I ain’t rich so cash is always good.
So sit back and continue to enjoy the musings of a Black Girl in Maine!
1 thought on “I am too proud to beg!”
I’m sorry you won’t be attending BlogHer this year. This will be my first year attending and I am incredibly excited to see what it’s all about. Hopefully you’ll get to attend next year if you are still interested in going. 🙂
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