Well its the eve of the 4th of July which here in Maine in my little coastal town means we are flooded with tourists or as I like to call em terrorists. Summer is the nicest time of year in Maine, it lasts all of a month maybe 2 and sadly we have to share it with folks who come from all over to dine on lobster, see the lighthouses and partake of the natural beauty of this place which if you are a local, chances are you are too damn poor to afford the good fun stuff. That however is another post for another time.
No, my major beef with tourists is that they annoy the shit out of me because I swear white folks come to Maine expecting to not see any Negroes so when I go to my local spots, like the other night when the fam and I went out for my fix of fried clams, the tourists were staring at my Black ass like I was a figment of their imagination. Of course the stares get even more intense when I start talking to owner of the joint and they get what I and my sista friends who live here call the does not compute look.
I imagine couples having exchanges like this when they see my dreadlocked behind chilling at the spot:
” Honey its so good to be in Maine, away from the hectic pace in the city and oh yeah them damn negroes/mexicans and other colored folks”
“That’s right honey, you saw the sign when we crossed from New Hampshire into Maine: The Way Life Should Be”
“Wait, what is that? OMG, its a Black woman!!”
“Maybe she is one of those Jamaicans or something they import to help out”
“Um, no I don’t think so, she is sitting at the table and it looks like the staff knows her”
“Dayum, we can’t go anywhere without seeing them damn niggas, bad enough that funny named Muslim is trying to become president”
Couple in question slinks a little lower in their seats, I tire of them staring at me and finally bust out my Chicago if you look at me one mo time muthafucka I will break a piece of this size 9 all up in yo ass..
May my trip to the beach in the morning be pleasant and free of folks in need of getting up close and personal with my crisp new pedicure.