Here I am a peaceful subject, so peaceful that I don’t spank my little one when she is acting up and believe me as a former spanker who got spanked there are days that the peaceful more gentle route really starts to grate on a Mama’s nerves. However I am not talking about the little one, though she did work me nerves this weekend.
Nope, I am talking about the lens through which white folks and Black folks see the world and how sometimes I swear white folks deliberately choose to slip on their white privilege lens thus making me want to slap the shit out of them.
I have had several exchanges lately where as a Black woman it felt clear I was getting stank attitudes because I was Black, specifically the family went out to dinner and at the next table was a group of young white men late teens to early 20’s I’d say. Well while getting my eat on, I sensed someone looking at me and look up and low and behold, the table of young white men is giving a sista the evil eye. I heard one of them mutter something about Obama, all the while looking at me like what the fuck am I doing in their line of vision.
Well a sista wasn’t having that, so I decided to engage back with the staring until the head ignoramous decided to finish his food. All the time while staring at him, I was also reaching towards my father in laws bottle of beer because had the little redneck bastards decided to get uppity, I was prepared to tell the spousal unit to scoop up mini-me while I broke that bottle on the table and went for the bastard’s neck. Yep, that’s how I roll. I am too old to play games and will fuck up anyone who endangers or threatens me or my family.
Anyhow, I shared this story with someone recently and was asked how did I know the young men were racist? Truthfully, being asked that question pissed me off almost as much as the table full of young Republicans or maybe they were all a bunch of Levi “redneck” wanna bees. See, its shit like that, that makes me think the only white person who avoids pissing me off on the regular is the spousal unit. Now I know it was an innocent question, but why do Black folks have to justify that we “know” its racism. Somethings are a matter of reception as much as perception, if I receive it as racism and it feels like racism then guess what for me its racism. The thing is not all racism is upfront and nasty sometimes its light and subtle but generally most folks of color know racism when they encounter it, and after 35 years on this planet, I can tell the difference between a casual stare versus a hostile one that says the person staring would like to do me harm.
Ya know somtimes I want to just share a story and not have to justify or explain, if I say I felt it was a racial issue guess what just listen to me.. kinda like with kids sometimes its because I said so, no other explanation needed. Got it?
6 thoughts on “It is what I say it is.. got that?”
What award? If you got one, congratulations! Anyway, about this post. Children and dogs can sense malevolence, gays have ‘gaydar’ for other men on the DL, women know when a man is sexist, and blacks know racism. All groups do. You’re right.
Congrats on the award, Shay!!!
I’ll put it like this… I am AN EXPERT on racism. I am THE EXPERT! You know how I know this, whenever one the older white women in my book club, say something or do something in their personal lives, and get confronted for exhibiting racist behavior, who do you think they come to and ask whether what they said or did should be considered racist? ME! They ask me. You know why? Because I am black. They know black people are the experts at knowing what should be considered racist or not. That’s why they ask me. There are 12 members in my book club, I am the only AA. I am the only one they ask, and the only one who can tell them.
No, no. Have your spousal unit wield the bottle while you scoop her up. You DO want your wee one to get the traditional gender roles straight, don’t you?
Visit my site and to see the award that you’ve been presented for the hard, honest work you do on your blog.
You have inspired me to reach hirer and dream bigger and not get caught up in the lie of “job security.”
I feel you! Its something that goes through life, one’s feelings need to be validated in order to move through the incident at hand. NO matter what it is how you feel is still valid.
My ex and I always use to argue because he was dismissive of my feelings. Being dismissive of feelings is one the worst thing that a person can do.
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