Like so many women, I have a tendency to be pretty damn hard on myself. Lately I have taken to excessively worrying about my neck and laugh lines, going so far as to contemplate the merits of Botox, something I swore I would never do. My beloved Spousal Unit tries his best to lift me up when I get in these states when I just want to wear a full length brown paper bag but I know it’s got to wear on him because the truth is it wears on me.
Last night I was screwing around and tweeted that “a sexy mind trumps all” and while I said it in a half assed way, it truly hit me, my mind is sexy. Fuck! My mind at 39 is far sexier than it was years ago when my body was in tip top shape. Yet despite all the work I have been doing on my mind, I get stuck on the body and blow all the great work I have been doing on my mind. The truth is my body is awesome, it’s grown and birthed, not one but two humans, it nourished one of those humans outside of my womb and thanks to three years of yoga, I can do shit I never dreamed possible.
Sure, I am carrying a few extra pounds, so what? In fact haven taken the advice of a few tweeps, I decided to add a few pieces to my wardrobe since while my plan of wearing nothing but my workout clothes until I shed these few pounds sounded good to my wallet, it did nothing for my mental state. In fact, wearing ill-fitting clothes is a sure fire way to feel like shit, frugality is good but not if it means putting yourself in a funky state.
Today is one of those days professionally when everything is going to hell in a hand basket, yet I realized as I stepped outside that I felt pretty, oh so pretty and it felt pretty damn good! Now let me get back to work.
PS: This post by Cecily K was one of the inspirations for this post.
you have it all going on! As my 20 year old would say,,, BAM!
The same here. Although my breasts might not high anymore I love my mind now. I was never this wonderfully uninhabited-I didn’t OWN my sexuality when I was young. I that bitch lock, stock and barrel now! I looked at my knees yesterday and thought I have wrinkles on them and I’m not quite sure when they got there or if they’ve always been there and I got sad for a moment and then shook it off and went to work out. We will all age but I plan to do it happily. I love my crows feet around my eyes it means I laugh at. And I’m good with that.
comparing ourselves can be damaging. you have a sexy mind AND a beautiful face! celebrate it.
I’m glad you got some new duds, and feeling pretty. It’s such a difficult balance between loving what’s inside and loving what’s outside. I struggle with it, too. It’s easy to think, “If only I ….” or “If I was really doing such a great job, wouldn’t I be ….?” but that never helps, does it? Better to go on living, creating, loving.
Thank you all for your kind words. I have never taken a fill length picture and shared it publicly but really was in a such a good space I said why not?
Kelly, I love what you said, I do find the times I am most critical about my appearance are when there is something going on internally.
I love this post Shay! Thank you for sharing! 🙂
You always look beautiful and put together.
You know, a motto I have for myself: Everyday, I’m going to leave the house looking damn good…for myself. I don’t care if no one notices. I’m not doing it for any man, but for me. It is a pledge I have made to myself because I deserve it, especially since my career is in the intellectual domain.
I think we all go through these things, but not everyone pulls out of it. When I am feeling bad about my appearance or my beauty I pray for help with those feelings, and set myself to focus on helping others. For me, it’s a form of self-absorption to care how I look, in terms of attractiveness, weight, etc.
I also agree, being kind to oneself and clothing oneself kindly and with clothing that feels good and helps us feel good, is very important. I’ll just get firsties on saying you look very lovely here. And I like that you did something about your self-criticism!
DAMN IT I wasn’t first. 🙂
I think you’re hot, and I’m not just saying that.