Six months ago, I took what for me was a bold step and decided to take part in a women’s circle, considering the state of my finances it felt not only luxurious but silly. Yet the past six months have been a whirlwind, being in the company of other women, many grappling with similar issues has encouraged me to look deep into my being and not fear the truth.
I won’t lie, the process has been rocky and downright scary at times yet I feel like I have emerged from this process with a new lease on life. That said, I know that many of the decisions and truths that I have given voice to, will not always make others comfortable. The funny thing about being an adult is at a certain point you have to walk your path, not someone else’s. Some of these truths I cannot even share outside a few select folks at least at this time, yet knowing that I have given voice to them and acknowledged them makes it alright for me.
It’s hard to walk away from the expectations of others but if those expectations do not bring us comfort, we must forge our own new path. Don’t fear change my friends.
2 thoughts on “Finding our truth, honoring our voice”
“It’s hard to walk away from the expectations of others but if those expectations do not bring us comfort, we must forge our own new path. Don’t fear change my friends.”
This is so hard! I am so not comfortable in paying for my brother to move to a new transitional housing…he has had many issues with drugs and prison for years. Yet, he is HIV positive at this time and I cannot bring myself to be allow him to homeless (as long as he is sober). The thought of him living in homeless shelters and possibly gettin ill due to unclean living situations seems inhumane. I tried to say no last night…I went from anger to sadness, to anger to blocking it out all day to back to fixing the problem tonight. Part of me wants to say, no, you got yourself into this situation, I have helped for years, I am tired now. So although I am not comfortable and I need to forge a new path of growing older in peace…I am so afraid to change…I am so afraid of residual guilt, so afraid to let my mother down, who has passed on. So one more time I take care of a grown man and find no comfort in doing so…but I am too afraid to change.
Often times others’ expectations have to do with their own insecurities. This was really apparent to me when I decided to quit my job without anything lined up. The naysayers were all people who had always lived life in a safe comfortable way. The people I knew who tended to take chances and make big wagers in belief of themselves were all hugely supportive.
Take big leaps. And if, in that process, some people can’t catch up that’s okay. Because there will be other people when you land.
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