I am not Mommy, I am a grown woman

Dear Mommy Blogger ~

I’d like to introduce you to blah blah; blah blah is a great product that will enhance your life as a mommy, please share news about blah blah product with your readers, followers, friends and whoever else. If you need high resolution photos or more information, please contact the Blah Blah PR firm.


Blah Blah Blah

PR Rep

Every single day, my inbox is filled with some variation of the above “letter”, someone asking me to take my time (which is in short supply) and promote their product. Apparently the fact that I have birthed humans and I write on this thing we call a blog puts me in a certain demographic…and I am sick and tired of it.

First off, yes I am considered a “mommy blogger” but considering that my eldest kid is now able to go out and legally buy himself a cold brew, calling me a “mommy” sounds a bit silly if you ask me. Hell, even the seven year old is moving away from “mommy”.

More importantly though, now that the act of mothering has become “commercialized” it offends my personal sensibilities that my primary identity as seen through the eyes of marketers and public relations folks has been reduced to “mothering”. Make no mistake, having become a mother at 19, the backdrop of mothering has always been a very important part of my life but just as I don’t solely base my identity on being a non-profit administrator nor is my identity based on being a mother.

Rather it is my belief that all humans play various roles at various seasons in our lives and part of being healthy is recognizing that all of these roles are part of who we are as a whole. In my case, I am a mother, partner, lover, worker, boss, sister, daughter, friend, writer and the list goes on. Sometimes I wear all these hats at one time and sometimes, I wear them as needed.

Lately, my mothering hat has had a little less wear as I navigate the world of my son coming into his own as a young man. He is involved in his first serious adult relationship (he is bringing her home to meet me soon), he moved out of his dorm and into his first apartment, he is going on tour and will even being doing a showcase at South by Southwest in a few weeks. Yet the last string that connected us in a mom-child relationship was severed when he told me to use the money he receives to live on to instead help my ailing Dad who is currently without an income. That means at 21 he is truly on his own and off the family payroll as I call it. As a mother and parent that is a huge milestone, one that is both joyous and bittersweet. Yet it is part of raising kids, they need to stand on their own and our relationship will continue to evolve as it should into an adult child and parent relationship, but it is clear our mommy relationship is over. It was a good run.

While I can’t officially hang up my mommy hat just yet, it’s clear that even at seven and a half, I am seeing the sign of change as the girl child spends more time in her lair creating art and less time hanging onto me. My, we have even started being able to sleep in, this morning I slept until 10am and this is becoming more common as Seven wakes up and occupies herself until the Man Unit and I get up.

Then again now that I am no longer playing the role of Mommy full time, all the time with no break, I can now take time for myself…to dream, to play…to just be. To find myself and to see who I have become over the years and to wear whatever hat best suits me at any given time. So, please don’t reduce me to just Mommy because Mommy is me but she is only part of me… I am a full on grown woman with a variety of interests and tastes and taking care of me as a whole is my first priority, so what products do you have for me now?


2 thoughts on “I am not Mommy, I am a grown woman”

  1. You are,um, well, awesome and amazing but I’m sick of those words and my brain is too tired to actually come up with some different ones.

    I’ve never really been a “mommy”, even when my children were very small. I just don’t have that kind of personality. And honestly, most people I know who do refer to themselves as “mommy bloggers” are know-it-alls and I long ago stopped reading anything they write.

    And congrats to you on raising such a fabulous young man!

  2. Congrats to your son!

    I am still very much a mommy with my young kids, but that’s not all I am. And I am only a mommy to them. No one but my kids should call me mommy. I have a name!

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