This is one of those vents that generally just resides in my head, but for some reason I just need to let it out. Maybe its the new gig or the fact that my family of origin is tweaking or I am perimenopausal but I need to publicly vent.
How come folks act like shit happens to them and they have no choices? Seriously, people act like things happen in a vacuum and they have no role whatsoever in their life circumstances. Case in point, I have a family member who is supposed to visit once a year yet for the last two years he hasn’t….oh what the hell, its my Pops. Now Pops claims he has no money to spend to get here, well I call bullshit on that one. See, ever since my Mom passed, I know that Pops has been imbibing a bit, so in my opinion if you got money to grab a drink with buddies after work, guess what you got money to visit family. Nope, you choose not to visit, its ok, I will get over it but don’t act like you have no choice. See, I figured if my Pops put away $10 a week, at 52 weeks in a year that is more than enough to fly out here even with higher airfare. Sorry, Pops but I call bullshit. Yeah, I am a little cold putting my Pops out here like this but the truth will set us free and some shit just needs to be said.
Next point of shit that annoys me, poor folks. Now look, I got nothing against poor folks shit I been poor but guess what I didn’t keep having babies I couldn’t afford and then get mad when the social service folks and others are not all that jazzed to help my Black ass out. I believe that in the ideal world everyone’s basic needs would be provided for, shelter, food, medical care….however we don’t live in the ideal world and while my life’s work has been about helping the less fortunate, there are times I want to smack folks upside the head.
When you got a nicer car than me, yet I need to help you provide essentials for your kids because you say you cannot do it, I gotta be honest and say I wonder about your priorities. Shit, me and the spousal unit will willing go without to provide for our kids, see once again its that pesky choice factor.
My daughter is at that age that she wants a baby sister, well truth is that barring a direct sign from God that is not likely to happen, elder boy turns 17 in less than 2 months, and this college shit is weighing on me. I got this house shit to deal with plus that mountain of debt to whittle down, as my Granny used to say, I don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of. My finances are fucked and we are most likely heading towards a depression, so if I slipped up and got pregnant knowing I am broke and can barely afford the two kids I got now, well that’s a poor choice and honestly I would be dumb as hell.
So while its always easy to blame others for shit, sometimes we have to look at the decsions we choose to make, sometimes life does happen and it brings bad shit but sometimes poor choices on our part cause bad shit too.
6 thoughts on “Really we do have choices”
We ALWAYS have an initial choice. The problems come in when we try to “choose” not to suffer the consequences of said choices.
The scary part of poverty is that without money the consequences of poor choices become either exaggerated or more extreme. You get yourself in trouble and don’t have the resources or contacts to get yourself out.
Conversly those with money tend to think themselves smarter or better than the poor, when reality is they simply have the connections and resources to bail them out of stupid decisions.
We all make bad choices but the price to pay is not always as equal.
Great post. Great points! Somebody was trying to tug at my heart strings the other day about young Black men getting long jail sentences. And I kept trying to explain to them that it is very unfortunate, yes…BUT this world isn’t fair to begin with, and on top of that you decide to commit a violent crime, sell drugs, rob a convenient store, etc. You might as well sell yourself on Ebay. Seems like everybody wants to be rewarded for bad choices nowadays. Especially Wall Street, Auto Industry, Banks, etc. Now that’s a hell of a welfare check!
Revy Rev, I do agree that perhaps I could have included the Wall Street folks and others since clearly they too made poor choices. Choices that sadly impact many others and now we must all to some degree live with their choice to seek greed above all.
Get Togetha, I am finding that older I get its easier to be truthful with myself and recognize my own poor choices. Heck, I will be the first to say I could do some things differently.
Chi-chi, thanks sis. :^)
Wow . . .this is just what I was meditating on this morning. You’re supposed to acknowledge and give thanks that you actually have a choice to do something different (even as simple as changing your thoughts) instead of whining about the bad parts of your life that are a direct result of the same bad decision making you’re making the choice not to change. Excellent post and I feel you about the “excuse making” family members and most *definitely* about any future baby having. Sheesh.
I don’t know BGIM, evidently we must add Wall St., Fortune 500, Big Three, Banks, etc. to the definition of what it means to be poor. Certainly their choices have also contributed to their present state and need for chastisement along with the socio-economic or ghetto poor.
I feel your post. Personal responsibility scares the crap out of folks who are used to blaming forces outside of themselves for the conditions in their lives. I have bitched and whined when I didn’t want to look in the mirror but I know better and I think that’s a sign of emotional maturity.
When you’re emotionally mature you know that you are the only one who can help yourself get your “ack” togetha.
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