I have a confession, I am really scared. Scared personally because after almost 13 years the spousal unit and I are going through a rough patch, nah its not so serious that a breakup is coming but for two easy going folks, its been a rough year.
I am scared financially, because well the past year and a half we have now lost close to over 30K in income but my bills haven’t dropped so every month I am playing that rob Peter to pay Paul game. Truth is I am not sure how much more we can endure financially, but I am going to remain upbeat and have faith that the tide will turn soon.
Yet the biggest fears that are nagging at me daily is around the election. See, living in Maine as a Black woman is not exactly a cakewalk and leaving is not a reality anytime soon. I have tried working the numbers for an escape sooner rather than later, and its just not happening. Don’t get me wrong, the place has grown on me but at same time, I wouldn’t mind being some place where there were more folks that looked like me.
Nope, I am scared about what happens if Obama wins. On another site I hang out at, another Black woman living in a fairly white state articulated perfectly what has been lying beneath the surface with me that I have been to scared to name. Will I face a backlash if he is elected? See, while Sarah Palin has been practicing for her next gig as the Grand Klan Dragon or whatever they call the leader of the Ku Klux Klan, I have been wondering will average folks of color like myself feel the wrath of angry white folks should their man and woman lose?
Don’t get me wrong, I damn sure don’t want McCain-Palin to win (yet another fear) but I wonder will we see increased incidents of violence by folks whose passions have been inflamed thanks to the Hate Express? I hope not but truth be told, I think violence is likely. I think should Obama lose violence is also a reality in large cities. Don’t even let us endure another election season with hi-jinx with the votes… I see riots and violence the likes we have not seen since the 1960’s being a real possibility.
Yet in the midst of my own petty fear, I am reminded of the ancestors and those who blazed the path before me and millions of others, a path that allowed for a little Black girl from Chicago to even end up in Maine. When I stop and reflect on the fact that as my Pops reminded me yet again last night that he grew up drinking from the colored water fountain, picking cotton in rural Arkansas, I am reminded that while my fear is real, its nothing compared to what those before me faced.
So, while I do have some fear for what will happen come November 5 in this country, I am going to hold to the faith that millions of others before me had that allowed them to rise up and hope for a better tomorrow.
5 thoughts on “Got fear?”
I am writing from Los Angeles and I do have something to fear here. If there is violence if Obama doesn’t win maybe Maine will be free from the violence b/c there are not enough Black people there to cause problems. Either which way those of you in Maine will be OK b/c I don’t know that there are many white people threatening to burn everything down in Maine if Obama wins. Well I will be in harms way here if Obama doesn’t win. I am scared of an Obama presidency as I would have been of a Hillary presidency. So? I am very scared of a person being in the top position that has his ideals. AND? Does that make me a bad person or someone who wants to see him harmed…NO. I don’t believe that violence will solve the problems we face no matter who gets elected and I am tired of Blacks and liberals telling everyone that there will be violence if Obama doesn’t win b/c to some in this country if Obama doens win it’s only b/c people don’t want a Black president. I could easily list 15 reasons why I am scared of an Obama presidency that have nothing to do with the color of his skin. I find your experience in Maine interesting b/c I am always facinated by people who live in homogeneous (sp?) environments. I don’t live in that situation and never have so it is interesting to me to learn about the lives of those who do. I’ll continue to read b/c it’s so different from what I know.
Also Kat- I didn’t say that she didn’t experience what she has written about. I just want her to know another ‘experience’ as well. I am not trying to invalidate anyone’s experience. I am just saying that there is more out there and we should not forget that truth isn’t just what we experience.
Just because you feel a certain way DOES NOT INVALIDATE
another person’s experience and how they feel. Read the
title of the blog: Black girl IN MAINE.
Melanie, not sure where you are writing from, but as the title of my blog states, I live in Maine. I am not from here originally but I can say that on a daily basis I encounter white folks who are very scared of Obama being in office because they are scared that is a Muslim/radical, fill in the blank. This is a personal rather than political blog so I write what I deal with personally.
That said, I agree that violence is never the answer who that is one thing we can agree on. ;^)
Where have you been. It’s been the democrats that have been saying that if Obama doesn’t win that there will be riots. Carville said that. There have been others. As a black women myself I am sick and tired of every time blacks don’t get what we want there are threats of violence. What is the matter. This is America. We don’t solve things that way. I mean is it POSSIBLE that Obama won’t get elected b/c people don’t like what he stands for? It happened to Kerry and no one said there would be riots. And Obama is MORE liberal than Kerry is. I don’t like Obama and would NEVER vote for him. He is too liberal for me, but if he does win it’s not then end of the world. The USA survived the Carter years and we’ll survive the Obama years. So please stop with the “all the republicans are racists and will riot if Obama wins”. Give em a break. I am sick of people saying that the only reason people don’t like Obama or are scared of an Obama administration is because of racism. I believe a black person can be elected President, but I don’t want this particular black person because of his belief system. That is possible, you know. I am not afraid of a black person being president and no white person I know is afraid of a black person being president. Maybe al the white people you know are racists and can handle a black person being president. I just don’t have that experience. But please stop with that. projecting on others what the Dems have threatened to do is not a good idea. Just becasue the Dems will riot doesn’t mean that the rest of us will do the same if we don’t get what we want.
Hhmm, I never gave much thought to the issue of violence after the election. For the most part, I feel that most will be happy if Obama wins, mass dissappointment if he doesn’t.
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