You don’t look so well…all is not well in Vacationland

Those were the words I said to the waitress at our local eatery who happens to be someone I genuinely like, we always keep meaning to get our girls together for a play-date but our schedules rarely mesh. I have a tendency to be pretty chatty with restaurant folks and folks in general, so when I told the waitress she wasn’t looking well, I expected her to tell me she had a cold, allergies, something along those lines.

Turns our her wonderful new boyfriend had abused her, by her own words he beat the shit out of her, blacked both her eyes nearly broke her nose to the point she had to take a week off work because there was no way she could go out that way.

To say I was shocked was an understatement, the woman I am writing about is a laid-back peacnik, love peace and maybe some pot. Unlike her older siblings (whom I also know) she definitely is the most mellow, most certainly not a woman you would expect to end up with an abusive partner. That’s the thing is domestic violence cuts across all levels of society, it doesn’t discriminate and in Maine its wide spread.

In Maine most of the few murders that occur annually are classified as acts of domestic violence, rarely are the murders here committed by folks with no relationship to one another. Since moving to this state, I have seen women who look like they live in million dollar homes who appear to be the victim of domestic violence as well as women of lower financial means.  A friend of mine who lives in a well known wealthy Maine town told me she has friends who regularly are abused by their partners but stay because their partners control the money and they women don’t want to start over financially.

I’m sorry and for once I will keep my snark factor down since this is a serious topic but fuck money and shit…when is the last time you have seen a hearse with a U-Haul trailer attached? You haven’t and guess what you can’t take stuff with you, when you are being physically harmed, things do not matter. You can get new stuff, you can’t get a new you.

Anyway I know this is a heavy topic for Monday, if you are reading this and involved in an abusive situation, get out. If you know someone who is in such a situation, see what you can do to assist them and no its not about playing hero. Help could be getting them the names and numbers of resources that can help them.

While Maine is known as Vacationland for many women here its anything but a vacation.