Don’t lose hope

I just got off a phone call with a fellow writer friend and former teen mom, who is now in her 40s. It was one of those calls where you plan to hop on for a few minutes, but you look up and realize you have been talking for well over two hours. I love that kind of unexpected, spur-of-the-moment call, because they take me out of my head and almost always provide me with food for thought. Somehow, we found ourselves on the subject of hope and not accepting “no” for an answer.

Lately, the theme of hope has been laying heavy with me as I navigate multiple situations in my personal life, in addition to the ongoing struggle to keep my organization afloat. Honestly, it would be easy to feel a sense of hopelessness at this time in my life.

I am a 51-year-old, twice-divorced mother and grandmother who is desperately working to keep a struggling 56-year-old anti-racism organization afloat at a time when support is dwindling and people’s belief in institutions is almost nil. Even my beloved BGIM Media site is struggling as support dries up and interest wanes, with people moving away from reading long-form writing, as well as anti-DEI legislation and initiatives hitting my consulting practice hard.

My son is in the midst of a custody battle for his eldest daughter that was unfortunately made public and, as a family, we have spent the last several months rallying to support him. Watching my son being attacked publicly by people who are ignorant of the facts of the case has been heartbreaking and infuriating.

After a moment of brief hope that my ex-partner and I might reconnect long term, it is clear the issues that led to me ending our relationship are still in play and that he is a long way from the healing he needs and the stability I require.

Other than recently learning that I don’t have breast cancer, one could say there isn’t much good in my life now. Even my long-awaited surgery for a long-standing issue will need to be postponed yet again, because I don’t have the necessary post-surgery support.

If I were looking at my life from the outside, I would probably say, “Yikes! Your life is a complete shitshow!”—especially since I am less than 20 years away from retirement with no retirement plan, seeing as how my consulting work has gone nearly belly-up now.

Truthfully, it would be easy to feel hopeless about my life. While I can’t say that I don’t have fleeting moments of fear that I will end up homeless on the streets when I can no longer work, I don’t feel hopeless at all.

Not even in the face of the recent Supreme Court rulings, the questionable first debate and the global race to fascism. I feel quite hopeful. I understand that life ebbs and flows and sometimes we all face the muck of life, but it is when we can hold multiple truths and be consistent in our practices that we experience forward momentum.

While social media and the media at large feeds us a steady diet of negativity and disinformation, life is more than the negative. It is more than any one moment. It is also through our personal and interpersonal healing and care that we develop the muscles and the tools to navigate the choppier waters of life. It is when we do our own work and self care that often appears selfish upon first glance that we gain the strength to see the light poking out behind the darkness; to see hope where others can only see the hopelessness; and to feel a fixed sense of internal joy despite not necessarily being happy.

It seems many of us are struggling in this moment and while it is easy to give into the despair of the moment, that’s not how we win and create equitable change and stay in the fight.

I shared this thought a few days ago on the BGIM Facebook page and I am sharing it here.

Our individual and collective survival requires hope, community, and courage. Think about the ways you can cultivate these three in your life. What does your physical community look like? How can you develop a practice of gratitude which will keep you hopeful?

Can you find the courage to step outside your mindset and push yourself?

While the world may seem bleak—and trust me, as you can see from my own sharing, things are choppy in my life—we are all facing some tough times ahead and uncertainty as we enter this unprecedented election season, but we are here!! I truly feel our presence is joy and hope.

In the last eight months, my newfound morning meditation and gratitude practice have been the tools to guide me to hope and an unshakeable sense of internal joy. It’s about 20 minutes I set aside every morning using a meditation app and a small journal and pen. While this works for me. I recognize it may not be your thing, but what can be your thing? Again, sometimes it’s the seemingly small and selfish things that allow us to bring ourselves into the work of movement and change. I will say this, now more than ever, we cannot afford to lose hope. If we lose our hope, then we have allowed the other side to win. Don’t lose hope, instead, look for ways to bring hopefulness back into your life or ways to maintain your hope. We have a lot of work ahead of us.

---

If this piece resonated with you, please consider a tip, or become a monthly patron, if you aren’t already. I offer my work freely, to ensure that it is accessible to all but if you have the means to support it, please do so. Remember, I do work with groups and organizations, if you want to work with me, please reach out for details.