Unplugging & Changing

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As I type this, it’s a lazy Memorial Day here in my corner of the world. The girl child and I got up and walked over to the annual Memorial Day parade and afterwards enjoyed a gooey cinnamon roll and resumed our walk.  Nothing spectacular at all, other than the fact that I have been unplugged since Friday evening and frankly I am enjoying being unplugged so much, I am wondering whether or not I should bother plugging back in.

For all that modern life gives us with instant access and 24/7 news cycles, lately I find myself wondering what am I losing? This weekend I didn’t actually plan to unplug, it just sort of happened and with each passing hour has felt good. The only reason I even bothered turning on my phone was if the college kid or my Pops needed to reach me. Granted they both know how to reach me on the land line but they also know depending on where I am in the house, I don’t hear the phone ringing.

Getting deeper into my yoga practice has made me more aware of myself and the fact that frankly I absorb too much of other people’s energy at times and to be honest, I don’t want to absorb most people’s energy, lot of folks out here got bad juju. Why in the hell do I want to absorb someone else’s drama? Yet when I spend a lot of time being plugged in, that’s exactly what I am doing. Sure, twitter provides a lot of laughs, but not all laughs are equal and for the laughs I have, sometimes I get the pain too. Snarkiness is great, but why? I am a natural smart ass, surviving in my family of origin meant you learn to  speak snark or else…. But do I really need to do so all the time? I think not.

I guess one could say I am going deeper into the land of woo woo, after all I did go to a chakra cleansing workshop a few days ago, but let me tell you, I don’t understand it all, but I will be damned if I don’t feel better. Suddenly my crazy cousin George as he is lovingly called in my family no longer seems so crazy to me, I think he was onto something when he talked about bad vibes and good vibes.

Putting the woo aside though, a recent encounter with my health provider is making me take stock of life and making it clear that change is needed. A few weeks back I broke down and went to see the doctor after thinking I had strep throat, turned out there was no strep, but my allergies have decided to start playing in the major leagues. But it wasn’t the allergies that got me concerned; it was my blood pressure which at 122 over 82 was higher than it’s ever been. Considering I had been self-medicating with a slew of over the counter drugs to combat the allergies, my doc wasn’t terribly concerned especially since I am moving back down the scale and for the first time ever consistently moving. I am concerned though, 122 over 82 is pre-hypertension and with my family history that was a cold water dump on my face.

I have been actively looking to keep stress low in my life but that blood pressure reading was the kick in my ass. Sure, it could have been the fact that I was having white coat syndrome that day as evidenced by the fact I was having a mild panic attack, could have been the fact I had decided to disregard the instructions on the side of the boxes and was mixing & matching over the counter allergy meds like a kid in a candy store…matters not, change is needed.

Social media has been great for expanding my writing, I have made some kick ass new friends and it’s fun, but it’s also stressful. Hell, my day job is stressful, I have a high energy 6 year old, a kid in college, a marriage that is finally settling back down and a father I am pretty sure will end up in living in my barn. Do I really need more stress?

So in my quest to unplug myself yet maintain a presence, I decided to unplug from Foursquare, after all why the hell am I telling the world where I am all the time? I am also spending less time with email; in fact send me an email during non-work hours and chances are if it isn’t critical, you aren’t going to be getting an answer until the next business day. Send me a text, maybe I will see it, maybe I won’t and you will get a reply when I am in a space to answer it. If you want to reach me, there is this invention called the telephone, reach out and call me. Or if you are far away, send a letter. Mail is groovy especially when it’s not bills or junk mail. Follow me on Pinterest, but know that I spend little time electronically pinning anything so it probably sucks to follow me. I’m still on twitter and Facebook but slowing that down too. As for monetizing this space, guess that’s gonna be a work in progress, if it’s meant to happen it will, in the meantime we like tips! Think of me as your daily barista except I don’t serve up a mean latte, I serve up something that hopefully makes you smile, laugh or think or even get pissed off.

So what does one do when not plugged in? Sit on my new bench in the front of my yard being social with the people who actually live near me, or hanging out in the back of my yard trying to figure out what these are.

 

 

 

 

 

Pain does not discriminate because of age…

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The world has changed, and while it’s easy to say, it’s just the fact that the media is running on warped speed, the truth is this is not the world I grew up in back in the 1970’s and 80’s and chances are it’s not the world you grew up in either. Sure, 24/7 news cycles spread information faster and further than journalists of yesterday could have ever dreamed so it does indeed feel like we are constantly being bombarded with bad news, news that previously was never heard about but on a very human level, the connections we used to have at the soul level are gone…long gone.

Bullying is nothing new, when two or more humans are gathered, human nature takes hold and well…some of us are not nice. In 2nd grade, I had Consuela the bully who took my lunch every day until my mother intervened. The Spousal Unit told me he was once shoved in a garbage can by a bully. Yet back in the old days of bullying, there were safe places, we could generally go home and get a reprieve from the bully. Nowadays though, thanks to technology, bullying too can be a 24/7 event…draining the souls of the bullied to the point, the only escape is ceasing to exist at all.

Yesterday there was a news report that a 7 year old boy in Detroit was found hanging in what police are calling a suicide and reports are mentioning that the boy may have been a victim of bullying. Reports states his parents had recently separated and that he was constantly teased at school. An online acquaintance asked how a child can be hopeless to the point of suicide by age 7. Prior to 2008, I would have asked that same question but in 4 years of working with low income youth & families, I have met many kids who are hopeless, kids whose lights are dim because already at a young age they realize the world is a harsh place. Kids who know that fairy tales aren’t real and that life can be oh so hard. When kids are exposed to harsh truths at a young age and then we add in bullying, the world becomes a place where only pain exists and the goal is to escape the pain. People by and large attempt and complete suicide because they are in pain and they want…no, need that pain to stop. Pain is not limited to adults.

This morning I read this piece in my local paper, and once again found myself thinking that adults need to step up to the plate. I think too many times bullying thrives because the older we get and further away from our own childhood, there is a tendency to almost romanticize childhood. We look back and brush aside the painful memories, instead thinking about how simple childhood seemed. Childhood in many cases has never been easy and it surely isn’t easy now. If it were easy, many of us wouldn’t need therapy as adults to undo the harm that was done on a soul level often by loving and clueless parents. Yet in a society that chooses not to hear children, children will makes their voices and pain known…I did it with drug experimentation in my teens.

A child taking their own life is a call to all of us to do better, not just for our own kids but for all kids. This means battling the powers that be that want to cut youth programming, this means making places for kids in our own world but most of all listening to children. Recognizing that they are fully formed and sentient beings that deserve nothing less than our best, until we start honoring kids in their own rights, I fear that youth taking their own lives will continue.

 

Swirling and it’s not just for ice cream anymore…a review

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I often forget that for many Black women dating and loving across racial lines does not come easy, then again for the last 21 years I have been involved with white men. Husband number one, while the marriage was short lived, did create a child who is now a 20 year old man and husband number 2 who I’ve spent 17 years with. So getting that out the way, one might think I was a perfect fit to review Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture and Creed a new release by blogger and writer Christelyn D. Karazin and co-author Janice Rhoshalle Littlejohn.

I admit I had been curious about what this book would be and when I received an offer for a review copy, I jumped at it. After all there are few books that really talk openly about dating across racial and cultural lines written from the perspective of a Black woman.

For starters, Christelyn and Janice have a way with words, reading this book at times reminded me of a talk with girlfriends on a Friday night. In the early chapters, they give some good advice, that to enter cross racial and cultural dating world; you will need to clean your slate about some assumptions you may hold against men of different backgrounds.

Swirling is funny and provides some good food for thought if one is just starting to consider dating across color lines, though I am not sure referring to men as rainbeaus is a great idea. I say that because in reading this book, I read parts out loud to my own partner (a white guy) who thought rainbeaus while meant to sound cutesy actually seemed like it was fetishizing non-Black men. The personal vignettes were a great touch especially Christelyn’s own meeting with her future in-laws, she’s a champ!

This book is heavy on providing great tidbits and laughs for how to swirl; this book is light on reality and data. Divorce rates are actually higher for mixed race couples especially Black-White pairings and the author’s suggestions about getting around the real issues that any mixed race couple in America faces especially Black-White pairings don’t seem rooted at times in reality. To be frank I would have liked to have seen more research and not just tidbits collected from Christelyn’s blog Beyond Black & White as evidenced by the fact that I am quoted on page 191 of this book and other blogs judging from the resource list at the back of the book.

All in all, it’s not a bad read and again for a Black woman seriously thinking of crossing racial/ethnic lines when it comes to dating, there is useful information to be gleaned. I think though that it falls short in the mating and relating long term section, then again it may be a chance for the authors to write a sequel.

Disclosure: In keeping with FTC rules, while I was not paid for this post, I did receive a review copy of Swirling.

Live to laugh

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It was brought to my attention by my 6 year old, that I am deficient in the ways of fun. Apparently my laugh o meter had been broken, in fact she has made it her personal mission to make me laugh and or smile whenever possible…and you know what? It’s a great thing!

I am the anti-smiler, always maintaining just a pleasant enough look so that people know I am plugged in, but truthfully I have never liked looking at smiling pictures of myself.  So, I avoid smiling. However in a family of strange introverts, giving birth to an extrovert means things must change and thanks to my daughter I am smiling and laughing more. She told me recently that she loves to hear me laugh because it makes her happy…magic words.

Now I could just share this little tale and leave it at that, but I suspect I am not the only one who needs to change their ways. Hell, I see the other zombies walking around; we all have that same half alive look and why shouldn’t we? We are working, living and just managing life and heaven knows in 2012 there is just so much we have to do, and things like laughing and smiling? We fit em in when we can.

No my friends, smiling and laughing are priorities, in fact we need to stop taking ourselves so damn seriously. To fellow moms, we worry, it’s in our DNA and with so many battles to fight from true equal rights to keeping our kids away from evil consumption and battling just to use our boobs in public to feed the babies, it can be hard to smile and laugh but I insist we must.

Think about when you die, what do you want your kids to remember best about you? Sure they may care about the advocacy work you did but if it left you so drained that all you had on your face was a grimace then maybe it’s time re-evaluate. I want my kids to say she was passionate, open, loving and happy…all of which require smiles and laughs at times, preferably often.

So if you find it hard to be spontaneous with the goofies, just keep at it until you reach the place where your smiles light up your face and you beam like a 100 watt light bulb.

PS: I have learned that banishing negativity whenever possible helps make the smiles and laughs flow. Seeing possibilities instead of roadblocks has a funny way of making one happy!

Aren’t y’all just a bunch of narcissistic souls?

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One of the hardest things about this blogging life for me is explaining the whole concept of blogging to offline friends who don’t blog or who frankly are not users of social media. A common question that has come up in the past year is why? I actually had someone tell me that blogging frankly seems narcissistic and why didn’t I just write in a diary. Funny thing is that I do actually keep an old fashioned journal, I enjoy blogging but let’s be honest do you really think I would share all my business online? Heaven’s no!

However I admit to being fascinated by the idea if all this social media and blogging is making us just a bit narcissistic? Clearly I am not the only one who wonders about such things based off this article in yesterday’s Sunday Magazine of the New York Times. Interesting that the piece is about Facebook but there is actually one tidbit that the writer mentions “The social medium of choice for the self-absorbed appears to be Twitter. The researchers found an association between tweeting about oneself and high narcissism scores.” Interesting, but I disagree.

Blogging and social media use can be narcissistic endeavors if we aren’t careful, but the reality is that as social media has evolved and become fully integrated into all areas of our lives (Jiffy Lube wants you to like them on Facebook…I’d say that is integration in our lives) it’s no longer the space of a select few. Even people who aren’t online regardless of age know about things like Facebook and even blogs, regardless of whether or not they actually use them. My Dad is a prime example; he’s had the same cell phone for 9 years, doesn’t own a PC at home yet is familiar with Facebook and Twitter or the tweeter as he calls it. Yep, social media is here to stay.

Bloggers and blogging though is a different beast since unlike applications such as Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, etc. a blogger is committing to a space. A space that they make their own, I liken it to my online home, when you read this blog or really any blog especially those of personal memoir bloggers, we really are saying “Welcome to my world”. The reasons why one blogs is as different as the individual blogger.

Personally I started my blog in 2008 because I was lonely, hell, being a minority in a very white state gets tiring, I figured maybe I might be able to reach out and find the other Black girl in Maine. I have accomplished that goal. I have found Black girls in Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont (the one in VT left though…boo hoo), some have only remained online pals and some have become offline friends and a reminder on those days I am losing it that I am not the only one.

I also started blogging because as writer writing for a local publication, I was hoping to expand my reach. I guess I could say that I have accomplished that too and continue to do so. For someone though whose childhood dream was to be a writer, this space allows me to do just that, I admit turning it into a profit making venture has been a bit trickier for me, but I trust that will come in time if it’s meant to be.

Narcissistic people can be found anywhere, trust me on this. Just because someone shares parts of their life online doesn’t make them a candidate for narcissistic personality disorder. In these fractured times when so many of us are far away from family & friends, blogs can serve as a familiar friend whose there when we need them. Bloggers in the past decade have created very real communities that support one another, in recent years so many bloggers have had life throw those curve-balls and even with offline support, the online support is valuable. So sure we could just write in our journals but those journals may not always help us live our dreams, sometimes people have to know about you and that little book under the bed can’t give you that exposure. It also can’t become a real life friend who you break bread with, the trick is to be mindful and not forget that life is more than these spaces, as always balance is key.

So yeah, I will keep writing my truly messy thoughts in my journal but I will keep plugging away in this space too, but if I get to full of myself, feel free to kick me in my ass offline!

Children have a voice, so honor it!

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Note: Due to the piece in today’s Portland Press Herald, it seems I have more visitors than usual. Glad to have you and hope you come back. Despite the name of this blog which is based on being a black girl in Maine, yes, I talk race but I do talk about more than just race. At present this space is about a girl becoming a woman and heading into middle age and all the musings and observations that happen as part of that process.

I am on deadline for the writing gigs that pay, and as much as I love my little space of cyber-space here, tending to the money folks is a priority. However reading this piece in today’s New York Times made me decide to take a break between assignments and write about something near and dear to my heart.

As parents, we want the best for our kids, but too many times what we perceive as the best is based off our own assumptions and biases with no input from our kiddos. Clearly when our kids are infants and small kids, there is only so much input they can have and truthfully the early years are a time when we do need to provide much of the guidance. Yet as they get older and more mature too many times kids are still left without a voice or opinion in matters that affect their upbringing and nowhere is that more clear than in the case of divorce.

My first marriage crashed and burned in short order, of course running off at 18 to marry because you want to assert yourself as a legal adult rather than marrying strictly for love is a great way you ensure you won’t stay married long. Long time readers know the story but for new readers, basically I ran off at 18 and got married, several months in when I discovered it was a mistake, oops! I was with child and being the daughter of a minister with Southern Baptist roots that pretty much meant my options were have a baby and have a baby. Long story short, after the kiddo turned 13 months old, the marriage exploded into a fiery ball.

However as anyone who has lived through a divorce that involves kids know, just because you divorce doesn’t mean your relationship with the ex-spouse is over. No, it only takes on a new and different form. In our case I am glad that after years of tension, now that our son is an adult, I actually get along with my ex-spouse, hell we are even buddies on Facebook!

No, the heavy lifting really hit around the time my son started to clearly have his own thoughts and while at times it was easy to ignore his wishes, after all the divorce decree says I get X amount of time, I am so thankful that the light bulb went off for me when he was 15. That was the year the former Spouse decided to move back to the Midwest…remember I am in Maine because of him and the kid. Initially the kiddo wanted to stay in Maine but the lure of being closer to what remains of my family and connecting with other people of color was a strong pull. In the end I honored my son’s request to move to the Midwest granted it ripped me up inside and only now that he is 20 do I feel I can put this to words.

In the end though it all worked out, I am convinced that the move is what my son needed, he needed to get away from New England and spend some time back home. It’s actually ironic because after 2 years of college in the Midwest he is now pretty certain that he wants to live back here or close by when he graduates. This year for the first time in a while my son told me he wants to spend the entire summer in Maine. Many people think that once kids turn 18, the sharing of vacations ends but the truth is it doesn’t and really it shouldn’t, after all kids have 2 parents. But this summer college kid feels he needs to spend his whole summer here with me, his baby sister and his step dad aka The Spousal Unit. I know it was a hard choice for him to make but thankfully his dad is supportive.

I wrote all this because as a parent who has pretty much navigated the world of joint custody since my eldest was 13 months old, I have learned along the way, that kids have voices and they need to be honored. It is something that now is part of parenting my youngest and in my work with kids. It took a lot of years to realize that having been raised in a strict patriarchal family that not having a voice can be detrimental. Many times when both my parents were alive, they asked why did I choose to run off at 18 and get married and it took many years to realize I made that choice because I could. No other reason, sure I thought it was love but not ever having had the ability to make a decision over my life when given the chance…well I didn’t know how to make one. I think children need even more autonomy when they are being reared between parents who no longer live under the same roof and yes it’s scary but the end goal is creating connections that last a lifetime not just the first 18 years.

So I say to my fellow parents, your kids are separate beings from you with their own uniqueness and desires, part of parenting well is to honor that voice that your kid has.

Venezuelan food in Maine? Yikes!

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In case anyone missed the name of this blog, I live in Maine, yes; I really do live in Maine. I am not a native Mainer, no; I landed here 10 years ago as a result of losing the stalemate with the former Mr. BGIM (granted he would technically be the former Mr. BGIC but I digress) and needing to be in the same state to make joint custody of our son work. To say I didn’t really want to be here would be a bit of an understatement. Needless to say, I moved to Maine and figured as soon as the kiddo hit 18, I would be out quicker than you could say Maine.

Obviously Maine grew on me, but the one area where Maine has continued to disappoint is food specifically access to Latin American food. Now one might wonder but aren’t you Black? I am but I am also splashed with Mexican as I like to call it. My Mom spent the first 7 years of her life raised by her Dad and her Mexican Grammy and as a result, for me growing up, our house was a mixture of American soul food and Mexican food and I don’t just mean tacos. I do know how to cook some dishes but living in Chicago for the first 29 years of my life, I had ample access to foods that truly fed my soul. In Maine though it’s been hit or miss with a lot more misses than hits!

The first few years in Maine, all I had was pseudo Tex-Mex style places and one lone Salvadorian joint that definitely fed my soul but still I needed more. In the last year though as Maine as gotten a little browner, my options for Latin American cuisine have increased. The latest place though is a hidden gem; nestled in my town, off the beaten path, Luis’s Arepera & Grill is like a diamond in the rough.

Luis’s is  owned by a Venezuelan fella by the name of Luis…no surprise but this joint literally just opened up and after a great meal and talk with the owner I figured I had to share this place with Mainers. I really want no need this place to stick around. His specialty is empanadas and a Venezuelan treat called an arepera that is fricking tasty! I had the arepitas sampler, 6 minis with a variety of stuffing’s and they were delicious, though my favorite was probably the ground beef. Luis’s carries a nice selection of vegetarian options and with the college kid coming home soon it means it’s one of the few places that the meat eaters and the vegetarian will all be able to eat. For lunch time Luis’s carries a few specials such as the Pebello traditional Venezuelan plate that is rice, black beans, beef or chicken and plantain. The menu description alone made my mouth water.

Chicken arepita

This fabulous place even offers churros, which while smaller than a traditional Mexican churro was almost identical taste-wise and the Spousal Unit was in hog heaven with his orchata which was about 24 ounces for a mere $2. Hands down the best orchata we have had since moving to Maine.

Churros

So, while I am hardly a restaurant reviewer, let me just say all item are made to order and fresh. The menu is small but with nothing on the menu higher than $10, it’s a great treat. Only downside is there is little on-site seating, one table and a few stools in the bar area and 2 benches outside, but if one is in the area, there are ample green space. So Mainers or visitors if you find yourself in Saco, check out Luis’s Arepera & Grill, open every day 9am-9pm except Sat, Luis’s is located at 213 North Street and hey he even accepts plastic which is nice for a small place since many local places are cash only.

PS: Excuse the crappy photos, never said I was a photographer, trust me though the food was good!

Bye bye Disco Queen…

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Growing as a kiddo, my parents were really into disco, like every weekend they went to the discos while I was left to frolic with my grandparents. As a result of their love of all things disco by the age of 6, I knew almost all the lyrics to Donna Summer’s music. Anyway, rest in peace Disco Queen.

Stand by for tomorrow’s post…I will be reviewing Christelyn Karazin’s new book Swirling and she ain’t talking ice cream kids! Till then, keep passing them open windows!

Why connection matters for me…your mileage may vary!

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I feel like this is a post where I need to have a disclaimer, this is my personal blog where as I describe in the About Me section “The truth is I am big mouth with an opinion on any and everything.”  For the most part what I write in this space are my personal thoughts and observations about the world, generally speaking I am not writing as an academic or journalist and sometimes this is just my space to share what I feel like publicly sharing. Just the musings of an almost middle-aged Black woman trapped in Maine, so your mileage may vary!

Yesterday was a rough day, a really rough day. It didn’t start off that way at all, but in my 15+ years of human services work most of which have been spent working with financially insecure adults, struggling with basic survival, I occasionally come across situations that hit me at my core. Yesterday was one of those days, except that because I deal with youth now, I find that when I am faced with bad professional days, they are truly bad. Privacy laws and what shred of human decency I possess prevent me from sharing the details but I will just say that my evening involved a lot of tears, holding my daughter tighter than usual and needing to connect at a deep level.

Unfortunately I didn’t realize early enough that instead of posting a random post to my personal Facebook page that created a lively discussion that while pleasant, deep online debate and discussion was not what I needed. I really needed to just be in the company of friends and am thankful that I have some folks in my life who know me well enough to pick up the phone and call me even when I am being too stubborn or whatever to take that step myself.

I often spend a great deal of time online in part because so much of my day is spent alone due to my job so being online often serves the same function as wandering the office and stopping at a coworkers desk to gab used to serve. As our offline lives integrate so seamlessly with our online lives, at times it’s easy for me to ignore the times when I really need to unplug and regroup with friends. For many there are no distinctions between online & offline connections, but lately I am finding that is not the case at all for me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the connections I have made online and certainly there is a growing number of folks that I have connected with online that are and have become offline buddies.

Yet there are subtle nuances that can’t be transmitted online, a few weeks ago the Spousal Unit and I met up with some friends we met originally online who are definitely friends and a discussion ensued that to be frank, had it happened online, would not have gone well. In fact I know if my friend had said what he said online, I would have pretty much thought what an ass. Yet a face to face connection and lack of word limits meant we could dive much deeper and in the end I left with better understanding on an issue that had been driving me mad.

So many small exchanges lately that have gone frankly a little wrong online are serving yet again as reminders for me of my limits to this online life. A little is great, a little more is even better but at a certain point, I need to step back. After a few well spent hours last night on the phone that brought me back to my happy, I realized that frankly I need more offline connections and that’s perfectly fine because part of this grown up life is knowing what we need and being intentional about it.

Nope, guess I won’t be a Skinnygirl…a review

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One of the more interesting benefits to blogging is that my inbox is often filled with offers from companies and PR firms looking to get the word out about their products. Truthfully due to the nature of my all-consuming day job and life in general, I tend to say no to reviewing products. It’s hard enough to fit in the work that keeps the bills paid much less offering free promotions that don’t necessarily benefit me. Yet every now and then an offer comes across my inbox that catches my attention that was the case with Skinnygirl Daily Cleanse & Restore.

Spring is here, and it’s clear that I need to get my physical self in order and I had been toying with the idea of doing some type of cleanse and just as I had that thought an offer for one came in my email. Hey, I work in the non-profit sector so I figured why the hell not, a no cost cleanse? What could be better?

I suppose I should have read up a little more before I agreed to offer up my digestive system as a guinea pig, but sometimes reading all the details isn’t my thing especially when I am multitasking. It seems that Skinnygirl is a line of lifestyle & nutrition products developed by Bethenny Frankel of Real Housewives of New York fame. I suppose if I had ever watched an episode of Real Housewives of New York her name may have stood out when I scanned the press release, but hey….

According to the Skinnygirl website, Skinnygirl Daily is “A Daily on the Go solution to promote healthy digestion, detoxification, energy, and overall wellness”. I admit that sounded pretty good, hell I am a working mom, I need all the energy I can get! So I received 5 sample packets, in the Green Lemonade flavor. I followed the directions of adding one packet to 6-8 ounces of water and since I didn’t have a fancy shaker, I stirred and stirred. Ummmm, it was green and frankly not too appetizing to look at, no problem, I figured with a lemonade flavor it would taste better than it looked. Bottoms up! I took a hearty sip and nearly vomited, not sure why this is described as green lemonade, I tasted not a hint of lemonade; frankly it tasted vile, very vile. I suspect that taste should have been the tip off of things to come. I eventually drank my whole serving and went about my day. No extra energy, all seems well.

Fast forward to the early evening hours when my stomach started cramping, let me just cut to the chase without getting to graphic and say that it cleaned me out all right. I spent a good chunk of the evening being intimate with my porcelain throne. I wasn’t quite expecting that and maybe it’s because I tend to have a lot of fiber in my diet naturally but all I will say is I spent the next 24 hours frankly feeling bad. I decided to repeat this experiment with a second packet and had the same results, no added energy, but a lot of time emptying myself out. In some ways in reminded me of over the counter products used to deal with constipation, harsh and uncomfortable.

I wanted to like this product especially after I finally did get around to looking at the Skinny Girls website and later on discovered there is even a Skinny Girl line of cocktails; I had thought maybe I could become a skinny girl once again using Skinny Girl products. Sad to say I was a slightly fluffy girl with a jumpy stomach for several days after using Skinnygirl Daily Cleanse & Restore, so it looks like my relationship with Skinnygirl is over.

Disclosure: In keeping with FTC rules, while I was not paid for this post, I did receive free samples to review.