I guess it happens to the best of us, we start off blogging, it gets good, we build an audience and then one day you find yourself stuck. I have seen it happen to several of my favorite bloggers, some faded away, others took time off and eventually came back, some never come back. I never thought it would happen to me but I must admit, I am there. That place where I am starting to think what’s the point?
In the early days, this blog was meant to be a space for me to kvetch and connect with other people of color, after all being a Black chick in Maine means I have little color in my day-to-day life. Yet in the two years since I started blogging, my audience has grown beyond the target audience. I have actually made connections with folks beyond this little ole blog, I love the fact that I often get emails from folks particularly Black folks interested in visiting or moving to Maine. Glad to know I provide a useful service. Lord know when I moved here 8 years ago and started researching the move there was very little I could find online at the time.
Yet the longer I do this blog, I am convinced that my writing skills are not growing as I find the type of writing that I have fallen into doing for this blog, is not the type I want to be doing. I admit when I have seen a few other blogs that shall remain nameless grow in prestige, there is a small part of me that is sad, I feel stuck. However I think part of the problem is that unlike many blogs, I have no specific focus. This blog is the written version of the many thoughts that are in my head on any given day and due to the lack of structure, well maybe that is part of the reason that I am not growing as a writer. Or frankly as a blogger.
So after much thought dear reader, I am thinking its time for a break while I get back to writing in a way that feels productive to me. I am too young for a bucket list but one of the few goals I do have in life is to write a book, and I keep thinking I have some great ideas yet they are just not coming out. I want to take some time to focus on ideas that translate in to a possible manuscript. In addition to this blog, I do write a monthly column for a local arts and entertainment paper in Portland, Maine called The Portland Phoenix. My column is called Diverse City, if you ever want to look me up feel free to.
So while I am not sure if this will be a wrap completely from this blog, I will say that I will be putting a lot less into it than I have in the past. I would rather turn out one piece of quality writing every week than the 4-5 pieces of shit writing I have been doing for the past two years. I need to find my voice as a writer and stop trying to duplicate the style of others. So while I don’t think this is completely a wrap, after all there is simply too much going on in the world for me to remain completely silent, I think I need to step back.
I would welcome any ideas or thoughts you may have on how I could make this blog more interesting, if I do decide to come back to a regular format with it.
15 thoughts on “It’s a wrap…maybe”
Pictures would be great! I have always heard Maine is such a lovely place to live, maybe not in the winter.
I just discovered your blog last week and this post really resonates with me. I’m a writer too, and like you, I have struggled forever to find my voice. But unlike you, I haven’t even been able to get my blog off the launching pad with any amount of ease. Instead of writing even when I felt like I wasn’t saying enough, I’ve just been paralized with inaction! Reading your post about your inner struggle has already inspired me to “just write,” and pray my voice finds me along the way.
Much luck with your work and I hope you do find a way to keep the space active while you work it all out.
Only you know in your gut what’s the right thing to do. There have been times when I’ve felt like there was really no point to me blogging, no one was reading, the writing was really sub-par. I gave it some time and I’d always get my enthusiasm back. For me, the problem is that I don’t have the time to do the kind of writing I really want to do but I *need* to write. Blogging is a no pressure, laid-back kind of way to do it so it works for me.
I really, really enjoy reading your thoughts on your blog. It’s one of the few I always read even though I may not have time to comment. I think your wisdom shines through in every post and so I’d had to see you go!
BGM–I think I first found your blog by googling “race relations in Maine,” as I live in Maine and am interested in race relations. I’ve been most interested in your perspective on cultural and political issues, but as you know, I’ve also commented on some of the personal articles you’ve posted. I think it’s been a good mix. As for your writing style, I like it when you talk directly to your audience, as Kit mentioned. Since finding your blog, I’ve found many other blogs of interest, including Kit’s. So, for me, BGM has been very important. I’ll keep you at the top of my bookmarks and look for you in the Phoenix. And I hope we can meet someday; two Illinois girls who wound up in Maine!
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