Reflections on Papa

My Papa, along with ,my brother and dearly departed Granny

This was originally posted on June 21, 2009 and pretty much captures my feelings on Father’s day.

Its Father’s Day, a day that frankly IMO gets not nearly enough fanfare compared to Mother’s Day. Of course we live in a world where sadly fathers are sometimes not around and Mama plays the role of both Mama and Papa.

I always thought my Dad would die first, but fate being what it is, it was my Mom that passed away first leaving me with just my Dad. In the five years since my Mom’s passing I have gotten to know my Dad a lot better than I did when my Mom was alive. My brother and I have a tenuous relationship with my Dad, he is a man who tries but the best way to sum up my Dad is to say see the movie About Schmidt. Jack Nicholson’s character is very much like my father….awkward to say the least.

That said, on Father’s Day I am thankful for my Pops. A man who tries the best he can though he is limited, maybe its because I am a parent and I have made a lot of mistakes as a parent that I can still love and now accept my dad for who he is, though its been a hard journey. In the early years after my Mom’s death, I wanted him to fill the void left by my Mom but it was not to be….now I accept him for who he is and most days life works better.

On Papa’s Day, I also look at my husband who often feels substandard as a father because he is not the greatest financial provider though when he leaves this early realm I am sure our kids will care less about how little money had and more about the fact that he was always there for them.

My husband has been in my son’s life since elder boy was three and has an amazing relationship with the Spousal Unit despite the fact there is no biological connection. So my son is doubly blessed to have not only his biological father but an amazing step father who has never made any difference in how he treats out two kids.  For our daughter he has always been an amazing and patient man who if nothing else deserves a metal for his willingness to embrace shit duty when the girl child was still in diapers (I hate changing diapers) and even now when she needs help wiping her behind after a bowel movement.

So to the men in my life and that includes the former Spousal Unit…Happy Father’s Day. To all Papas I hope you are having a great day!