We are living in deeply unsettling and downright scary times. For younger Americans, particularly those of us under 60, we have never experienced anything like what is going on in our country. Despite knowing what was possible under a second Trump term, to see progress that we assumed would last forever being brutally, systematically, and illegally being rolled back is a gut punch.
As a Black American, and a member of Gen X, seeing what appears to be the beginning of the reinstallation of segregation and what increasingly looks like Jim Crow 2.0 has been heartbreaking and terrifying. I sit now with the stories shared by my father and other family members who lived under Jim Crow and see alarming parallels—much less to see LGBTQ+ friends and family, particularly transpeople, have their humanity attacked so savagely by this administration. It’s made even more heartbreaking seeing the lackluster opposition of those who know better, cowering under Trump’s inane executive orders and Elon Musk’s’ brazen takeover of our federal systems. The latter being carried out by a small army of virtual children.
While some still can’t quite call it a coup, I don’t know what else to call it. A coup by definition is a sudden decisive exercise of force in politics and especially the violent overthrow or alteration of an existing government by a small group. While we are lacking the widespread violence that some may associate with a coup, now an unelected man from South Africa and his army of pipsqueaks are absolutely a small group that no one elected, who are changing the fabric of America at the behest of Trump.
Right now, we the people are relying on elected officials who are either in awe or fear of Musk or who are naively waiting on the system to self-correct. I mean yes, the courts are taking this situation seriously, but the uncomfortable reality is that laws and court orders don’t enforce themselves. The administration was told to reinstate federal funding and still there are reports of funds that continue to be frozen.
As many of us resort to doomscrolling and contacting our congressional delegates on a nearly daily basis, it can be hard to keep hope and not fall into some level of despair, whether a complete sense of hopelessness or what I have been experiencing—bodily anxiety that has led to me consuming more Aleve and Advil in the last three weeks than I probably took all last year. My shoulders are up near my ears and my neck is in agony, no doubt the result of too much time on my phone.
After several weeks of interrupted sleep and a return to panic attacks, I had to step away from being online for a day or so to recalibrate. To find my center and come to a place of acceptance of this moment and to think critically about how I will move ahead. Stepping away gave me some clarity to see clearly and ponder the question: How does one survive the unthinkable?
Grounding in reality is a good place to start. As painful as it is to admit, there will probably be no Hail Mary pass that gets this train back on the track immediately. No one is going to magically take us back to January 15. There are several forces at work to change our lives and turn the United States upside down: technofascists, GOP/MAGA, and Christian Nationalists. They overlap and have similar goals (white supremacy and the desire for white dominance) which brought us to this moment. They are the perfect hateful trifecta and defeating them all is going to be a process. It is a long game. Though I would say the most threatening are the technofascists, aka Elon Musk and the jabronis he represents, who crave the demise of democracy to further their techno-authoritarian dreams of a world takeover.
Scary shit and I still believe that all is not lost.
Friends, we need to stay informed and up to date on what’s going on but scrolling endlessly every day isn’t helpful for most of us. Whatever is going to happen moving forward, we need to be as healthy as possible and as useful as most of the information is out there, a lot of it—while factual—lacks the nuance of humanity to keep us from losing our shit.
Some believe that self-care at a time like this isn’t possible but when I think about the stories, I am aware that with my own ancestors, they lived under the harsh cloak of Jim Crow but still managed to laugh and find joy. Those moments of joy may not have looked like what we see as joy but breaking bread and being with people can take us away from the anxiety of the moment and put us back in our bodies is a form of joy. Movement is another way of putting us back into our bodies and getting us out of our heads.
My Dad used to occasionally break out into the hambone dance. As a kid it was a moment of “WTF,” but as an adult and knowing that the hambone originated in Africa under the name Juba, it also has origins in American slavery, I understand why he did it. It was passed down through the generations in our family and my son can hambone. The hambone was what enslaved Africans did to find a moment of reprieve from the hardness of life, even under Jim Crow. It was a way to celebrate life.
If movement is accessible to you, move your body in a way that brings a moment of joy.
Self-care is also limiting how and when you receive information. I don’t believe anyone should pick up a phone or device for at least an hour after waking up unless it is to use a meditation app or any app or program that grounds you. It is a habit I started a few years ago and I swear by it. I strive not to read the news or social media for at least an hour after I am up. There is no reason to start my day with anything that is going to possibly make me anxious. The bad news can wait until I am fully awake and have had time to settle into my day. During that time, I meditate, work in my gratitude journal, pray, eat, and generally exist in my body unaware of the external world. I also strongly suggest doing the same thing at night, but I will admit that’s a hard one for me, as I am a night owl by nature. My best work happens later in the evening, which means consuming media, though I may have to make a shift to protect my mental space.
Speaking of news, pick a few good sources. These days, I find that Heather Cox Richardson’s newsletters are a great daily summary for days when I realize I don’t need to read endless articles. She’s on Substack and her daily newsletter is available free of charge, though if you have the means, I am sure she would love your support. Writers do like to eat, too. Another great read these days is Wired—they have been doing the Lord’s work with exposing the real shit with the administration. Unfortunately they are not available beyond a few free articles a month, but they are currently running a $10 for the year deal. Other notable publications giving real news are Teen Vogue, Rolling Stone, Dame Pro Publica, Al-Jazeera and Reuters. I would also suggest reading lesser-known outfits that fill your cup and give you hope, alongside the news.
As far as actions, pick actions that you can commit to long term. A few days ago, an old local friend reached out because she wanted to create a site and app that is not one of the big tech places, so Mainers can have a place to find out about local actions across the state. She’s disabled and doesn’t always have the energy to be outside, but this was something she knew she could do. Due to my anti-racism work, I know my own limitations, so I was happy to serve as her thought partner in putting this together.
There are so many things going on, but we know this is how Trump works. As Steve Bannon said, it’s muzzle velocity. They are purposely trying to tucker us out, so pick an area of interest—immigration, LGTBQ+ issues, DEI/racism, Elon Musk, etc.—and focus on it. Seriously, pick one area and primarily focus on that area. That doesn’t mean you can’t contact your elected officials about anything else but if you are looking to work in your community, pick an area that you can focus on and give it your all.
Stay connected to your people. Check in on one another; some of us are barely hanging on and others have more bandwidth, but a quick call or text just to say hello can matter. If your primary community is online, this is a great time to start a group chat and text. Deepen those connections off the apps. Go a little deeper with people. Now is the time.
It is also a great time to know history. Yes, our current situation is eerily reminiscent of Hitler, but Hitler didn’t have oligarch techbros or the technology that our wanna-be overthrowers have. There are a lot of similarities and still some differences. At the same time, read about how people survived and how the human spirit still survived. While it is important to recognize the world has seen similar moments and that this is a unique threat at the same time, it is also important to know how exactly others survived the unthinkable.
Be mindful of what you are consuming online and how applicable it is to you. I see many people suggesting we get passports and prepare to flee. That’s a great idea but for many of us, that is simply not possible. Many countries don’t accept disabled immigrants and as I have read, emigrating isn’t quite as easy as many online make it out to be. There’s also the fact that in a country where many are struggling to survive, where’s the money going to come from to pack up and move? Or the fact that in many families, especially co-parenting situations, you can’t even get your kid a passport unless the other parent signs off on it. Even if they do, are they coming along?
I have had several associates suggest I consider leaving, and while my kids are adults, I am not fleeing and leaving my kids or grandchildren behind. Nor do we have the resources for the entire family to emigrate. Of course, there is the issue of where we would even go. I share this to say that listening to people who are planning their departure while you know you will be here might not be the healthiest.
That said, if we are staying if you have the means, keeping extra food on hand for the possible food shortages isn’t a bad idea. Keeping a file of all your important documents handy also isn’t a bad idea, along with some easy-to-access cash. The stuff you should be doing in the event of bad weather.
Lastly, accept that this is our lives, at least for now. Our lives are changing, and not for the better. No one knows the endgame but holding on to what is no more just makes it harder to accept what is.
That is not accepting defeat, but it is shifting your mindset to accept reality in the now. It is easier to navigate the uncomfortable when we aren’t holding onto childlike fantasy and hope. If you have ever had a terminally ill loved one, you may have experience with this. There’s that point when you realize that your loved one is dying, and their death is imminent. I can tell you this: I didn’t accept that my mother was dying, and it made the grieving process long and drawn out. No one wanted to accept she was dying, so we didn’t and as a family it nearly destroyed us. When my dad was dying, I knew he was dying, and when he died—while the pain of his loss was hard—having accepted there wasn’t going to be any fantastical last-minute passes that would bring him back allowed me to navigate the business of his death with a clear mind.
We need clear minds here. To be frank, we can feel our feelings, but we don’t have the luxury of living in them perpetually and having them immobilize us. This is a situation to eat and walk at the same time. We can be pissed and we can rage, but we need to take care of ourselves and do anything to push back and not accept fascism as our inevitable future. It’s the highest level of adulting: To navigate the unspeakable and still live and take action.
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