Here in the States, the Thanksgiving holiday is upon us—a morally repugnant holiday if we go back to its roots that we have mostly decided to accept as a time for gathering and feasting without thinking about the real implications and meaning behind it. Americans have never been good at facing reality as it really is, though, and then using that as a starting place for doing better.
This Thanksgiving holiday, a heaviness hangs in the air as this time many of us have been forced to face an uncomfortable reality: We are a morally divided and conflicted country where, at this moment, the hateful are winning. Any illusions of our societal progress to move us away from our twisted roots and the brutal founding of this nation were shattered on election day when Donald Trump won—and more so in the immediate aftermath of his election as his cabinet picks have been announced and more of his intended policy actions declared or hinted at.
Even those who voted for him are facing uncertainty as we all grapple with what will become of our economy and the rules that we once took for granted. Since, as I write this, all indicators are that America is tumbling headfirst into chaos—a country that was sold out by misinformation and illiteracy to those who seek our destruction.
Such tensions and uncertainty make feasting, gathering, and giving thanks harder to do but it is vital for our hearts and souls to not give up. To not let the purveyors of gloom and doom that are a daily part of our scrolling infect us with their glee for our possible collective demise.
When shit gets real, it’s hard to see the light. But all we have is our light and our hope and, no matter what, we must hold to it. Whether you are gathering with a raucous crowd or having a solitary holiday, find what matters to you and hold it dear to your heart. In these dark times, don’t stop giving thanks for what is possible and what you do have that keeps you going.
Practicing gratitude in the midst of despair is hard for some to grasp, but as someone whose life was spiraling into deep darkness over a year ago, the practice of gratitude changed my life. It allowed me to see what I did have and to appreciate the simple things while acknowledging that sometimes, life sucks and shit isn’t fair.
I start every day by writing down things I am grateful for. Some days it’s easy and, honestly, some days it is hard. But after a year of this practice, it gives me hope and despite the uncertainty of where our country and world are headed, I am grateful for so much including knowing that so many of us are ready to resist and do our part to create something better out of this mess.
Personally, I am iffy on holidays in general. It was on Christmas 2003 that we realized my mom was probably dying, and barely 60 days later, she was gone. As a result, I prefer small solitary holidays that allow me to feel the spirit of all my ancestors and be present with myself without a mask. Though with each passing year, as I grow older, while I have no desire to partake in large gatherings, I do find myself giving thanks more and more. Gratitude for the first 30 years of my life, with large holiday gatherings where I nearly starved because my mom, while a great cook…well, let’s just say timeliness was not her thing. If you were smart, you ate before you went over since dinner wasn’t happening until at least 8 p.m. Today, I have gratitude for my babies and grandbabies, for good friends and loved ones, and for knowing that while this life is temporary, we can paint the canvas we want, even in times of despair.
I am also grateful for you. Yes, you. For all who read my work, for those who have the means to support it, and for those who feel inspired by it. The road ahead is rocky and uncertain, but we can do hard things.
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