Change and acceptance are good

If you follow me on twitter, last week you may have caught my mini hair drama or crisis. I woke up last Friday and pretty much decided most of my hair had to go. I was tired of the struggle, the time and the worry. Sure I was scared that to go as short as I did back in 2000 would render me invisible but frankly I am already a Black woman in Maine so I am fairly invisible anyway. (if I didn’t have a partner, man this place might really fuck with me) After a stream of tweets and some time away from the house, I pretty much came home and decided, fuck it! It’s hair and I chopped it off, now that I have been professionally trimmed and cut, I would say there is a good 3 inches left. So no baldie but let’s face it 3 inches of tightly coiled hair isn’t a lot and that’s fine by me.

My relationship with hair is complicated but frankly I think most women have complicated relationships with that stuff on top of our heads. I know for me though that the state of my hair is often reflective of where I am on this journey of life. Prior to this cut, I had been rather conflicted about several issues that were causing me to lose sleep, yet as soon as I filled that trash bag with my hair, clarity arrived. I realized I just needed to let go and accept that what is meant to be will be and if the things I have been working towards don’t happen that’s okay too.

Sometimes I have to do things to shake myself out of that state of complacency where I am prone to spending way too much time. The haircut was definitely a good start though I am still struggling with the need to accept myself in my present state, in other words why wait until I lose the weight to love myself? Hell, I am lovable right now.

Just another day up here in my corner of the world, accepting reality and learning that change and self acceptance are good things.

  1. October 21, 2011
  2. October 21, 2011