This morning I got up at 6:20am…now let me tell you a little something about BGIM, I am not a morning person, let me repeat that again, I am not a morning person. Hell, for the past 11 years I have made my professional life align with the fact that I do not do mornings barring the first 8 months in Maine when the first job I landed here required I show up by 9 am. Yeah, I knew me and that job were not going to be together long. Not only am I not a morning person, but I require a bare minimum of an hour to sit in relative silence drinking coffee, meditating and just waking up. Now that the 6 year old is old enough she understands that to disturb Mama’s process is to risk having a not so happy Mommy all day!
So with that knowledge, you may ask well why the hell were you up so early? Oh, the kidlet! See, it was field trip day and when the trip was announced a few weeks ago, darling daughter asked if I would go? How could I refuse? A chance to hang with my kidlet at school, a visit to the apple orchard I have already been to this season and an 8:30 am departure time. Oh why the hell not?
Good mum that I am I made sure we arrived at school in a timely fashion; I even bathed for the occasion which considering the 8:30 start time is a miracle. Thank goodness I cut off all my hair otherwise I might have been late while battling the hair but now my cool few inches makes wash and go a reality.
So I show up, walk the kidlet into her class after signing in with the crunchy office worker who always gives the look of stankonia…yeah, yeah, fuck you and the horse you rode up on you cantankerous gremlin! I get my snazzy pass announcing that I am a volunteer and we are off to races! Turns out I was the first parental unit to arrive, score one for me being first at such an early hour! But let me tell you it went downhill from there. I had high hopes for the trip when the next 2 parents arrived and they were dads, they were pleasant we shared hellos and all held up the walls together. While the teacher read off a list of rules so damn long, I thought why are we even going. Hellooooo, telling kids who are going to an apple orchard that they must use inside voices makes no sense.
Then it started…the mommies arrived! First mommy up happens to be a member of my church and she gave me the look, you know the one that says why are you here? Same reason you are, you asshat! Then the other mommies arrived 4 total, rocking their snazzy outside gear, hair done, and full makeup. Ummmm, we are going to an orchard and it’s ridiculously early. Whatever! It only got worse from there as kidlet’s class proceeds to meet up with the other class that is going and I recognize a few other moms, one a doctor’s wife…damn, turns out I am under-dressed and I am rocking my new baby Grace Jones hairstyle. Fuck it! I am here for the kid.
So for the next hour or so, I pretty much keep to myself since aside from the dads, no one is talking to me, despite the big smile and warm eyes I projected, I got no love from the other Mums. Now you might think, maybe it’s you. Could be but I do know I saw this last year when I was a volunteer Mom and talking to other Moms that aren’t in the Mum clique they also have shared how the other mums made them feel less than. Heaven help you if you are a single parent working stiff whose schedule never allows for much face time at the school, you will always get the stankonia face from the other Mums.
At my kid’s school the cool Mommies are the ones who do PTO, volunteer often translation weekly or have the vaunted position of class mom. I am still trying to figure out when they posted the job listing for class Mom, no one asked for my resume.
All jokes aside, it seems not a week goes by when we don’t hear about bullying, yet I can’t help thinking we are our kid’s first teachers and they look to us as role models. If they see us not being nice or forming our own cool Mom groups, what lessons are they learning? When we tell them play with all the kids and be nice yet we only hang out in our own group, we are being disingenuous and our kids know it.
So before we start placing the blame on kids behavior on others, let’s stop and make sure that our actions and words line up and for goodness sakes, be nice to the other parents! We are all adults, shed your inner 16 year old!