Black Girl in Midlife

By Shay | December 4, 2022 | 0 Comments

Recently a disgruntled reader left a comment on my personal Facebook page telling me that I am self-absorbed and not doing anything for the Black people of Maine. Initially, I was pissed off but upon further reflection, I realized that I am in a stage of my life where from the outside, I probably do …

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Black Girl in Midlife

By Shay | December 4, 2022 | 0 Comments
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Black woman with afro wearing cool sunglasses

Recently a disgruntled reader left a comment on my personal Facebook page telling me that I am self-absorbed and not doing anything for the Black people of Maine. Initially, I was pissed off but upon further reflection, I realized that I am in a stage of my life where from the outside, I probably do appear to be self-absorbed. And your know what? That is okay. There comes a time when one has to put themselves first and tend to their own mental, emotional, and physical gardens—and I would say that for Black women, there is an urgent imperative to do so. Midlife is the perfect time to accept that we cannot be all things to all people.  As I settle deeper into this journey of midlife, I am coming to realize that there are limits to where I can place my time, talents, and treasures. I have spent the last 20 years immersed in creating systemic change through anti-racism work. But here in midlife, I feel that calling taking a slight detour. Truthfully, as my therapist recently reminded me, I have been feeling that call for a while. But it has only been now, on the precipice of 50, that the call is becoming louder.  My view and my focus is also changing. I cannot deny the intersection of aging, gender, and race and that aging part is becoming very personal and powerful. Everything in our society is done through a racial lens, but how does that lens shift …

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