Why People Beat their Kids

Disclaimer, its late and Mama has had a long day. When those two things happen, I tend to get slap happy and nonsensical, so if my bad sense of humor offends you, get a coke and bag of chips and push on. Otherwise if you are a frazzled parent, who is finally catching their breath now that the kidlets are asleep, pour a glass of wine or make a cup of tea and commiserate with me as I kvetch.

Preschool ended for the almost 5 yo kidlet a couple of weeks ago and while in my mind I saw us sharing many tender Mommy-child moments together this summer, my reality has been um…exhausting. The kidlet has always had sleep issues from age 0-almost 3 she would only fall asleep if she were physically carried or attached to one of us. There was a good 2 year period where I forgot what the Spousal Unit looked like at night since around 18 months he took over nighttime duty for fear he wasn’t going to wake up one day due to his frazzled sleep deprived wife snapping. Turns out the man is far better suited to going without regular sleep than yours truly.

Even when she started sleeping in her room last year she still required a parental unit’s involvement at some point in the middle of the night (yeah, I know developmentally appropriate and when your firstborn got the hang of sleeping at oh 6 weeks getting a kid the 2nd time around who hates to sleep rocks your fucking world) so to be honest its safe to say she has always had issues around sleep. Kidlet will go to bed late and wake up early. I tried the consensual route at one point believing that she would fall asleep when she needed and get the sleep her body required. Bad idea, instead we had a kid who was constantly over tired and making our lives a living hell.

No, it took getting hardcore and regimented and having a consistent schedule that seemed to make our lives easier though we still never knew (know) when she will wake up. So imagine my surprise a couple of weeks ago when she started sleeping late, I am talking almost 9 am! I felt like a brand new person being able to sleep that late instead of hearing the call at 6:45 am…”Mommy, Daddy I am up”. But all good things must come to end and that week of heaven on earth (think about the best sex you ever had, shit so good it was like heaven, the moon, the stars..you get the point) has ended only to now return to super early wake up time and a kid who is always high energy having even more energy.

It’s that energy that brings me to today, we were out as a family enjoying our community and time together, all said we were out about 7-8 hours and after a long warm day outside we (the big people) came home and were wiped out. Yet the kidlet came home and had more energy that 5 yo triplets combined. “Mommy, let’s play store.” “Mommy, let’s play dress up”…after reading 3 long stories, “Mommy can you read some more”? It went on and on. Finally I said “Chile, how about we watch some tv (sue me, if your kid doesn’t watch tv, well you are probably a better parent than I, hats off to you now pass me a drink!). Here I was offering unfettered access to the idiot box and she said no, um…..NOoooooooooo!

It was in that moment I realized just how easy it would be for a parent with less resources and more pressures to just snap on the kid. It’s the reason when you are in places like Target and the evil Wal-Mart you see parents just snapping on kids. Kids push our buttons, thankfully the Spousal Unit came in and ran interference and after being left alone for an hour I was happy to hang out with her. But dammit for a split second it ran through my mind how easy it would have been when she was having that whine fest to do as the ole folks would say and just pop her and tell her to shut the hell up.

So while I am not proud of the thoughts that ran through my mind, I am glad I had the ability to get back on track and be the best parent I can within my reality but at the same time I realized why some parents spank their kids. Its less about the kid and more about how we handle stressful moments.

A Black Girl in the Woods

This past weekend the family and I did something I have joked about wanting to do for years but never really had the nerve…we went camping.  Yep, me?  A born and bred city gal who can quickly identify a pair of Louboutin’s or Manolo’s decided to hit the North Country. We actually had been invited as part of a larger group that was planning on climbing Mt. Katahdin, Maine’s largest point. Well my much slower than expected recovery from that pesky hernia repair surgery put the kibosh on my climbing plans but I figured I might as well still go and enjoy the woods.

I will admit the first half of our time at camp was rough, turns out the campground we were at had no connections to the outside world. Let’s break that down, it means your cell phone, smart phone and laptops cannot pick up a signal. Turns out it wasn’t just the campground, the whole area the closer you got to the mountains it turned out there was no connection to be had, luckily a few miles in the opposite direction and a connection could be had. I will be honest, initially I freaked the fucked out, 2 days in the woods and no phone, text or email? Yikes! Turns out once the initial shock wore off, it was down right liberating to be forced to unplug from the world.

The only real downside was the shared accommodations, I had to room in the gal area and well let’s just say I prefer not to room with others unless we are related by marriage or family.

It’s a hot day up in my corner of the world so rather than a long post I will leave you with some of the sights I took in up north.

On the road, off to the wizard...opps the woods!


Our fine accomodations, yeah I know it looks not so rustic


Ray, our fabulous boat captain and tour guide


Lake Millinocket from the boat


The ducks allowed us to get quite close


Had to snap this, it was um...interesting


Good food plus met one of the local brothas here, there are 4 total!


What the????At Dysarts in Bangor on the way home..a bank of phones..WOW!