Pretty effin far from okay, how life turns on a dime

When I wrote my last post on Friday, I had no idea that by Sunday night my world would be flipped 180 degrees.  To keep it short and sweet, my father has been hospitalized and the road ahead is a journey that none of us in my family want to take. Then again that is the very nature of life as I learned eight years ago. To quote John Lennon “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.”

It would be easy in this moment for me to get mad and lash out at the universe for its inherent unfairness, but the truth is my family is blessed. In the past forty eight hours, I have seen my baby brother rise up and take the reins and guide our family through one of our darkest moments. Though it’s become clear that now it is truly time for me to head home and help lighten his load.

As my father reminded me today, we all have an earthly expiration date and all we can do is live and enjoy this ride as much as possible. Never forgetting to look up at the sky and revel in the beauty that exists even in our darkest moments.

So, this space may go quiet for a bit as I head home to Chicago and figure it all out. Despite my attempts to be Zen about this situation, I admit I am feeling a little like the Marsellus Wallace character in Pulp Fiction. After Butch rescues Marsellus, he asks him if he is okay and Marsellus replies “Naw man. I’m pretty fuckin’ far from okay.” Right now I am pretty fuckin far from okay but I am just going to trust that okay will eventually come back to me. Until that time, I am simply present.

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