My natural default setting is mean and bitchy, traits that I spent years reveling in until it reached the point that being mean and bitchy was keeping me down in more ways than one. As a naturally mean and bitchy gal, it means I have a high tolerance for snark but lately I find that snark and meanness tire me out, it drains me.

Some years ago, I worked on recalibrating my default settings and at times I have gotten out of balance, trying almost too hard to be nice when in fact I need to put my foot down. I am a work in progress, or as I am learning sometimes there is a time and place for everything. Frankly there are times when you do have to find that inner bitch, lest people will run over you and that creates its own stressors.

That said this week has been a week where I have been surrounded by meanness, meanness that is frankly at times a form of bullying and shaming. The irony is that all the people I have observed being mean, thought that their meanness was justified, yet in the end they were exposed for the bullies and cowards they really are.

Today, I ran across this piece and I highly encourage you to take a minute to read it. Too many times when we reach for our inner asshole, the truth is we are hurting ourselves more than the people we think we are hurting. When we use our words and actions to hammer home our views or to flippantly dismiss others, where is it coming from? Too many times it’s about our own house not being in order.

Wednesday is hump day and while humping is always good, maybe we can strive to be a little kinder and lot less flip. Take a baby step, smile, smile at yourself and go from there…it’s hard to consistently reach asshole status when you are wearing a smile. So try it reach for that silly smile and shine!

PS: I have a treat coming up on the blog, Maine author Sarah Mac Laughlin will be visiting BGIM land with a guest post and readers will also have a chance to win a copy of her new book What Not to Say. I pretty say no to these deals generally but having met Sarah previously, it’s my pleasure to host her in this small and humble space!