I knew it was only a matter of time; I have been going harder and harder, struggling to keep the balls in the air and keep my cape from getting twisted. Yet despite my efforts, I woke up to a hard crash this morning, me breaking down in tears before I even had my first cup of coffee. Let me just say that nothing and I mean nothing gets in the way of that first cup of coffee!
Obviously the events of the past few weeks opened the doors to this breakdown and while it would be easy to pin it all on my poor ailing father. (Sorry Pops) In some ways I think it’s more than that and that this situation simply exacerbated things.
These are really strange times we are living in; we can have hundreds of “friends” or “followers” yet when the shit hits the fan, and maybe it’s just me but finding real live flesh and blood humans to just sit down and talk with is damn near impossible. In crisis moments, people mean well and have the best of intentions but the truth is most of us are too wrapped up in our own shit to truly help someone else and just be there for them. Sad thing is, it isn’t even intentional, more the byproduct of these hurried times we are living in.
Too often, we figure our nuclear family is where we should get our support but as I am slowly starting to conclude, there are times when the nuclear family isn’t enough. In our case, the two of us can’t keep all the balls juggling either and with the most helpful extended family members clear on the other side of the country, we are at our wit’s ends. No doubt made worse by the seven year old coming down with this year’s dreaded flu.
I find myself wondering when did we go from being a society that acknowledged and accepted that members needed help to this place where needing help almost feels like a dirty word? I think one of the reasons social media is so popular is that it allows us to connect with other people. Yet for some of us and I freely admit to being one of those people, there are limits to virtual connections. I have met some dynamic people over the years through my blogging and early discussion board days but even with a few strong connections, it’s hard to compare those to flesh and blood support. Friends who just show up and drag you out the door because they know you need to get out of your head or as I experienced today, old friends from back home who kept reaching out until they got through to me. These types of deep connections are starting to feel more and more like a thing of the past. Instead we like each other’s status updates, or even write on a friend’s wall and feel we have fulfilled the friend contract. For some of us, it is enough but considering how often articles are bandied about that social media is making us feel lonely or inadequate, I suspect most of us would like a few less digital accolades and a few more real time experiences.
While mired in my deep funk today, I came across this article; I admit on the surface most people will go no thanks. But if one can get past the sexual undertone of the article, I see there being some truth that many can relate to. How often do we joke about wishing we had a spare wife or a spare husband? Sure, for some it’s a sexual thing and to that I say more power to you but for many of us what we are really saying is, we need help. I often joke about how helpful a spare partner would be; frankly having another able bodied adult around to help support our household would be a damn useful thing. Especially if this magical third person was strong in all the areas that both the Man Unit and I are lacking in…a girl can dream.
My funk will pass and life will go on but just as I started my 30’s focused on growing my career, I think this new decade of life is shifting my focus to growing and strengthening my connections. It’s become clear that I am not quite the super hero I thought I was and even super woman needs help and support.