Got a bench? The bench thief strikes in BGIM land

The past several days in BGIM land have just been insane! My work life is going at full speed, as the little agency that I head is growing into a not so little agency. I admit, it’s a little scary to oversee such rapid growth as we watch not only our budget grow but just the level and number of services we provide increase. I have joked for a while about having an assistant but for the first time ever, I really do have an assistant, granted this is non-profit land, so my assistant does double duty. I realized the other day my professional life really is changing as I found myself at the mall looking for the perfect blazer for an event I had to attend. Anyone who knows me in real life knows, I am the anti-blazer gal, but there comes a time when even an ole throwback like me who revels in being different has to look the part. Strange times indeed.

That said when I am back at my castle; I like to be comfortable and chill. So this summer I decided to replace my old front yard bench that died a terrible death a few winters ago when it met a snow bank and a plow. Now this bench was nothing fancy, I think I spent a whopping $50 at Big Lots, seriously not a big deal, other than that last year this time, I wouldn’t have had a spare $50 for a bench.

Well yesterday, while I was hard at work, someone decided they needed a bench and apparently thought mine would be a good bench to own. So they stole my bench…some asshole stole my bench!

I admit when the man unit told me that our bench was stolen, I figured he was kidding but sure enough the bench is gone. Now in the scale of crimes, I admit a stolen bench is small, after all when we lived in Chicago, our entire apartment was burglarized down to my class ring from college. However in my mind breaking into someone’s house and taking all the valuables makes sense, what does not make sense is stealing someone’s bench especially when my neighbors leave really nice grills outside untethered.

I admit living in Maine has made me a little soft since compared to living in my hometown, crime is low here. Still who the hell takes another person’s bench? Now I am reduced to sitting on the grass when the kid is out front playing…oh well! Let us send good thoughts to the bench thief, may it meet their needs on every way.

4 thoughts on “Got a bench? The bench thief strikes in BGIM land”

  1. I hope he (or she) wore a ski mask and black and white stripes. You know, to add to the subtle effect of stealing a gigantic bench.

  2. We don’t have Big Lots in Nueva York…Hmmm…That’s a nice looking bench… *side eye looking a the bench next to me…nah, I’m just joking with you* Seriously, it is a nice looking bench. I say it was either some kid who has nothing but time to waste in Maine or someone desperate for furniture.

  3. Teenagers? You might find it down the street as a prank (like when they take mailboxes). I hope. It may only have cost $50 but it looks pretty awesome!

  4. Was it close to the front? Did they maybe think it was a curb item and free? Stealing a bench is really bizarre. I wonder if you put up posters the culprit will come forward and return it…

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