What I do have…seeing what is real in the midst of the storm

No matter how positive you strive to be, the funk will find you, it’s inevitable. Yet, even when our mind only wants to see the negatives and see all that we think we are lacking, we have a choice; the choice is up to us.

Last night before turning in, I chose to write down all that I have and when I was done, the list was enough to chase away the voices that were screaming failure. One of the gifts that yoga and meditation has given me is the ability to silence that ever present critic in my head who lives for negativity. No matter who we are, we all have that internal critic and he/she is no one’s friend. It’s only taken most of my life to learn to stop listening to that pesky voice; she is a troublemaker, a Loki.

So yeah, the seas of life are choppy at the moment and yes my expenses are mounting faster than my income, but I still have so much.

What I do have-excerpt from my journal

I have a supportive partner who accepts me and the ever-changing state of our relationship and who had stood by my side for 17 years now.

I have two kick ass kids, yes the little one challenges me and the big one concerns me but these kids are my life. I literally raised myself while raising my son and so far we have both done well.

I have a wise father who despite our turbulent relationship in my younger years, my mother’s death has made me connect with him and I adore him and all his quirks.

I have a refrigerator and pantry full of healthy, local organic foods and even some junky treats.

Despite my dental woes my overall health is good.

I have a home and while it may not be “pretty” and picture worthy, it is our home. A home that was made possible by a very loving relative.

I have work that is meaningful to me and adds a little hope on this fucked up rock. I sleep well knowing that at my core, I have stayed true to my values and my job/work is reflective of that.

For 31 years I had the best mom and friend a girl could ever hope for, she left me early but she left me with so much that I try to pass on to my own kids.

For 32 years, I had the wisest crone a girl could ever hope for in my granny.

My friends may be few in numbers but the ones I have, I know are there for me and I feel their love and support even when we are separated by miles.

I only have one sibling but when I need a sounding board, he is there for me.

There was a lot more that I wrote but this is the part of the list that I can share publicly, what about you? What joys do you have in the midst of the storms of life?

  1. October 10, 2012
    • October 10, 2012
  2. October 11, 2012

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