While I share quite a bit about myself via this blog and Twitter, for as much as I share there is a lot that I don’t. After all over sharing is not necessarily a good look. That said in recent weeks I have dealt with a number of situations and circumstances that have convinced me that my tendency to play it safe especially when it comes to my professional life is not a good thing and that change is needed. To be honest change is needed sooner rather than later not only for my own physical, mental and emotional health but for the health of my family.
I have made no secret that my day job as the chief executive of a small non-profit that is growing is challenging. It’s exhilarating but it’s reached the point where frankly it’s driving me to an early grave and while I am good at what I do, lately I feel I operate on auto pilot and the joy I used to feel is missing. It’s hard to feel joy that I help so many but those who I love and care the most for only get the emotional scraps that I have left. I can’t do it anymore. Yet I am risk adverse when it comes to my professional and financial life, I suspect running off to marry at 18 and becoming a mother at 19 and on the road to divorce at 20 will make you rather risk adverse. I entered adulthood learning early on that plans that are not well thought out can have rather serious consequences. So while I love the friends who have been telling me to just quit, quitting is not an option until I have some other plans in place.
At one point I thought moving to a different agency was the answer but I have been in the non-profit long enough to know that in this economic climate working in the non-profit sector is stressful no matter where you are. I can’t do it anymore. I thought becoming a life coach might be the answer since I have a background well suited for it but I am not sure that my heart is really there to be honest. Again it’s that pesky aversion to risk and well becoming a life coach feels safe. I am tired of playing safe. I am almost 40, I am ready to do me and live on my terms doing what makes me happy and not always playing safe.
I love writing, plain and simple. This blog is not my first efforts at public writing, in the past nine years I have written for local publications in Maine, I write a regular column for the Portland Phoenix and recently even won a New England Press Association award. However I need your help, there are a number of folks I know that read this blog and or follow me on Twitter who are living their dream. They are earning a living via their writing, blogging, social media and I want to know how the hell are you doing it? It’s funny that I am asking this here since my Spousal Unit is a freelance writer and editor but he has a highly specialized niche in medical and pharmaceutical writing and really can’t answer this for me. So I bring it to you good readers.
I am also looking for someone who can help redesign this website for not a lot of money, so that I can do a better job of showcasing all my writing. I thought I had found a local person but they were too busy to assist me and I have been putting out feelers but really haven’t found anyone. Ideally I need a local or regional person so perhaps we can sit down together over a drink and discuss what I am looking for…I can’t pay much but damn think of the karmic reward. Besides I would be willing to give you one hell of a shout out for helping me out.
In the past I have shied away from money talks here after my ill fated computer beg-a-thon that fell short of my goal and some of the bad feelings that the idea of asking for money generated. Look, I know that there are a zillion folks blogging and some are just doing it for the love and frankly that’s what I have been doing since 2008 but I have to start earning money lest I lose my mind that that’s the end of me. I applied recently to Blog Her but that takes time and am still on the fence about ads in general though I suppose they have their purpose. Instead I am leaning towards taking a page from my one of favorite bloggers who holds quarterly fundraisers on her blog. I don’t expect the initial goal to be much but one that will add a few shekels to my savings account as I look for more avenues for earning a living as a writer. So sometime soon a link will be up on the site here if you care to contribute. I realize again there are plenty of places out there that entertain you and cost you nothing and don’t ask you for anything but remember on the other side of the computer is a writer who might like to pay their bills. In this case a writer who needs to change careers ASAP.
So I am asking if you are a website designer who can help me out drop me a message, if you are a more established blogger/writer and don’t mind sharing how you went from casual blogger to professional blogger I definitely want to talk to you. Lastly if BGIM makes you smile, laugh or maybe even pisses you off in a good way, consider supporting me with the spring fundraiser. If none of those things are applicable but you like it here…well send good thoughts.