Anyone who has been partnered over ten years or more will tell you there is a point in the relationship that you fall into a rhythm especially once you add kids into the equation. In the early days of a relationship you are caught up in new relationship energy and everything feels shiny and brand new. Yet you can’t share a life with someone without that new relationship energy fading away. Many times though when that new energy fades away and the day to day rhythm takes it place, in our fast paced world we start to think something is wrong.
The early days of a relationship can never quite be replicated because at a certain point the two parties in a relationship know each other. Oh, they may still be holding back deep secrets and truths as I did for so long before those truths threatened to destroy our marriage yet even when I was holding back, the Spousal Unit knew it…he just didn’t know what exactly it was that I was holding back.
Yet in the past few days I was reminded that the greatest joy in being partnered can happen because our partner knows us, when we reach that place where words are not necessary. That place when your body has needs but your mind says no, yet when you are truly connected your partner knows not only your mind and spirit but your body as well.
I was reminded of this a few nights ago, when I decided to hit the bed early and the ole man joined me, a rarity for him since he is truly a night owl! Words were never spoken yet needs and desires were fulfilled. I found myself marveling at how despite never saying the words, after sixteen years together the Spousal Unit knows me and I know him.
The decision to partner and raise a family is hard, there are times when you want to pull out your hair and run far the fuck away. There are moments when the messiness of illness, debt and just life can threaten the very foundation of a relationship but when the commitment is there and the desire to rise above it all is strong, the rewards are the sweet moments that frankly in our culture we don’t talk enough about. The fact that after so many years the very ordinary can still be sweet and take your breath away, in a time when others particularly outside forces will tell us that the ordinary is boring.
On this long holiday weekend, I choose to revel in the ordinary and feel blessed that I am fortunate enough to share this journey with a life partner who still can make me grin like the silly twenty something year old I was many years ago.