When Papas Snap…what the parenting books don’t tell us!

Sickness has taken over here in BGIM land; I am down for the count with a nice old fashioned cold. The kind that just takes everything out of you, coupled with the fact it’s been crazy at work, my energy level is about a negative one. Needless to say blogging wasn’t on my agenda but I saw this video, which then sparked a twitter discussion with my son and well I had to post.

You have to watch the video, go ahead and watch it if you haven’t already see it. In the event you can’t let me fill you in, a Dad basically snaps and loses his shit. It seems his 15 year old daughter was tired of his shit and decided to make a Facebook post telling her pals that she was tired of his shit. See, Dad expects her to do chores and whatnot. It also seems that they have had some issues over the use of Facebook previously that if I understood correctly resulted in her being grounded previously for several months. By the way Dad is not one the kid’s Facebook pals. However the kiddo had her Pops who is an IT guy upgrading her laptop and well Dad decided to hack into her Facebook page and that’s when shit got crazy.

As my son pointed out rightly, the Dad did invade his daughter’s privacy. Many years ago when I was a wee lass back in Chicago, my dearly departed Mother read my diary. I was 14 going on 20 and doing things I really should not have been doing. Obviously I did not share any of that with my mom so she decided to violate my privacy which lead to me no longer doing those things. For years I stopped writing in a journal or diary, because I felt my private thoughts would be invaded. It’s taken a lot of years of maturing to realize, that in hindsight she invaded my privacy to keep me safe. In my case I was lying about my age to boys who were much older than me (older than 20) and my mom’s violation of my privacy, may have saved me from making some dumb mistakes.

That said as a parent, I have always respected my kid’s privacy, granted my son made it easy, and right now I have no idea how things may turn out with the now 6 year old. I imagine these days hacking into your kid’s Facebook page is almost equal to snooping around and finding your teenager’s diary or journal. It is a huge violation of trust but sometimes as parents do the ends justify the means?

When I saw this video, I saw a Dad who was fed up and at the end of his rope. My son pointed out that the Dad’s actions seemed more like revenge than discipline and after looking at the video again, I agree with my son. Basically we see a Dad who is smoking, littering and ranting like he is having a break from reality especially when he decides to take a pistol to the kid’s laptop.

The interwebz is abuzz with folks who are talking about this guy; it seems he is either seen as an abusive Dad who needs to be taken down or a parenting hero. Frankly I think he is neither, he actually is an example of the fact that parents are people and that sometimes we don’t know what to do. Too many times in modern day parenting, parents are “supposed” to know the answers and we don’t. In many cases it’s easier to know the answer when our kids are younger, but sometimes there comes a point when we simply don’t know. I suspect when things have cooled off, this Dad will realize he went over board and realize that punishing his daughter for expressing herself was not the answer. Personally I am a believer in allowing my kids to say whatever they need to say provided they do it in a respectful manner. That said, I hope the daughter realizes that respect is a two way street and that parents get tired of shit too. As for shooting the laptop, well frankly he could have packed it up and given it away or simply taken it away. After all what did the poor laptop do?

The decision to raise a child is a journey yet unlike many journeys, raising a child can have many twists and turns that can bring us our highest highs and our lowest lows. For most of us we only want the best for our kids but as flawed beings that best does not always come out.

4 thoughts on “When Papas Snap…what the parenting books don’t tell us!

  1. Exactamundo. What did the laptop do? Nothing. Which makes the laptop this weird effigy of his daughter that he’s emptying a clip into. I’d rather get whooped on than have my laptop shot at– because aside from the obvious, that’s an overtly violent gesture. Which given the context (homegirl ranting to her pals on the FB) has the potential to develop in some crazy ass ways. I’m going to assume something similar happened to Michele Bachmann… iight let me get out of here before I get us both in trouble.

  2. Hmm, I was avoiding watching this video but I figured I should so I can at least make a better informed comment. So, while I understand his frustration and hurt, I still can’t see how shooting a laptop is not considered an extreme response. Then to make her pay for the bullets he decided to use? This sounds more like revenge than any attempt to provide discipline. From my perspective, discipline is about guidance not pointless punitive measures. I would hope that outside of this video this family took the opportunity to address the real issues that might be going on. I can only guess that those issues involve notions of respect and appreciation for all parties involved.

  3. I read a follow-up that explained he didn’t actually hack into her account. She is FB friends with her parents, but had used filters so that her family & church lists could not see everything she was posting. Apparently the family dog has a FB profile for fun, & she forgot to add the dog to the filtered list. Oopsy.

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