The dance of Black motherhood or the journey to humanity

To choose to bring a child into the world is not for the faint of heart; to make the decision to raise a child is to experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and, in essence, to gamble with your heart and soul. That child you nurture and raise can grow up […]

The culture of good and why good is often toxic

My daughter wraps up the third grade this week and with it, what I hope is her incessant need to be “good” and “nice.” For many parents, a child intent on always being good and never hurting anyone’s feelings may be seen as a plus, an outward sign to the world that you are excelling […]

Black bodies, black names in a white world

I was born in the early 1970s at a time when many Black Americans were experimenting with connecting to their diasporic roots and when unable to find true connections, they created their own. The result is a generation that was given dubious-sounding African names that were really just creative concoctions that reflected the angst of […]

Parenting by public humiliation and why you should avoid it

As a parent, for the most part I try to stay in my own lane and not judge other parents. Despite the plethora of materials available to parents, the truth is, parenting is hard work. I became a parent two weeks after turning 19 and I have made more than my fair share of mistakes. […]

Take a deep breath, the hard work of talking race in the US

I think it’s safe to say that tensions are running high across the United States this week. Between the relentless heat pounding parts of the country and the verdict in the George Zimmerman trial, we are all feeling the tension and with that tension it brings hair trigger tempers. Can I suggest that we all […]

Fast forwarding through childhood and pausing adulthood…a Mama’s rant

A few months ago my soon to be eight year old daughter rediscovered her American Girl Doll with a vengeance. After sitting in the land dump of stuffies and dolls, Ruby was once again a part of the daily cycle of family life here in BGIM-land. Unlike a few years ago when Ruby first became […]

Summer plans gone wrong and a Mama Bear comes out

After almost 22 years of parenting, the only thing that I know for sure is that I know nothing. Not one iota. The one guiding principle that I have not only for myself but with both of my kids is to never doubt our instincts, trust in the wisdom and knowledge that is inherent in […]

Mom and bodies…uncomfortable and unspoken truths

I lost the battle of the flat stomach twenty-one years ago when I gave birth to my son at nineteen. Sure, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight less than a week after giving birth, but I have been chasing the dream of the flat belly ever since and it stops now. Despite talking a […]

Questing for a bestie…the search for a best friend

This past week was school vacation week here in New England. Between the Brother’s Evil in Boston mucking up our plans to visit the Museum of Science and that pesky job of mine turning me into an indentured servant, we really didn’t do much. However late in the week when it was clear that the […]

No maps, no guides, the final frontier of parenting…grown kids

When I was a much younger woman, nothing would piss me off faster than hearing some “older” person tell me ever so patiently that when I got older, I would get “it”. Whatever this mysterious “it” was.  It always felt patronizing to tell me that despite the fact that I was an adult, I wasn’t […]