I need a laugh and hell, you probably need one too! I have a confession, after a decade of more of striving to live a green and natural lifestyle; I am at the end of my rope. Really…I am about ready to say screw the planet and give me my conveniences! Yeah, I’m an ass…I know it.
I guess you could say my interest in living a more natural life started not along after the Spousal Unit I married, some 14 years ago. My first attempt at being a natural girl was to dive head first into vegetarianism, sadly the man did not share my vision and within a year or so I gave up the ghost. Between spending over a $100 a week at Whole Foods on a basket of veggies and meat substitutes back in the 1990’s, feeling incredibly crappy and having to look at the man eat meat, it was too much for me. In the end, it was steak and swine strips that brought me back to the dark side. Though I am proud to say that even though vegetarianism and I are not a match, that stage of my life did start to change my eating habits, a change that has more of less stuck all these years. Meat is no longer the star attraction in my diet especially since I only buy organic, grass-fed and local meat. Hard to have a bacon bonanza when an $8 pack only nets you 10 fuckin pieces!
Fast forward down the road, we moved to Maine and apparently landed here before the whole eat local movement went national. Hell, I was the first person I knew to belong to a CSA back in 2003. In fact it used to amuse me having to explain the concept to folks, now CSA’s are a norm. I admit while I love the concept of CSA’s the reality is I waste a lot of food at times, right now I participate in a winter CSA and honestly can tell you I hate most winter root vegetables, but hey I am eating local and supporting local agriculture.
My love affair with all things natural really kicked into full gear back in 2005 though when I was pregnant with the six year old. I lay the blame on my midwives, it’s their fault! They introduced me to the now defunct Mothering magazine, here I was in an emotionally fragile state, pregnant and mourning the loss of my mom and bam, a new way of life. I jumped in full force. Next thing you know, I am telling the man we will be using cloth diapers, breastfeeding and that are kid will not be vaccinated. I am pretty sure there was a few times the man wanted to shake me silly instead he did what many a man has done before him….yes dear!
Well my relationship with breastfeeding was good, some might say too good. There I was planning on a year of nursing, next thing you know the girl is three and a half and still nursing! Cloth diapers though were a harder piece; those little dipes are so damn cute until they are filled with real life poo and pee. The only thing that kept the kid in cloth diapers was the fact that I found a diaper service. Turns out I have issues dealing with shit any longer than I have too.
Time went on, I traded in disposable water bottles for stainless steel bottles…hello Kleen Kanteen and Sigg bottles. Not only are they water bottles, they can double as personal security devices when filled! When our finances nose-dived, I even traded in our paper napkins for cloth ones…the one thing I still enjoy. After all a cloth napkin can make any meal seem festive. I decided to start buying vinegar in bulk and only cleaning with non-toxic chemicals, better for the kiddo and family, so what are house smelled like a potato chip plant until I found the right balance of vinegar.
I even went so far as to give up my beloved Degree deodorant and explore crystals and natural deodorants until the day a natural deodorant malfunctioned on me after the crystal gave me a bad rash and left me in a state of funk away from home. Funk is not good unless it’s brought to us by George Clinton and the P.Funk!
But what I really want to talk about is reusable feminine hygiene products, look if you are a woman of menstruating age, you can spend a ton on pads and tampons. (Why can’t we get a deduction for these items?) So the idea of using reusable products seems like a sound plan, granted many women get a little squeamish at the idea of being that up, close and personal with their bodies but for those who aren’t…well reusable pads and cups are a fabulous idea. Or at least that’s what we tell ourselves. For the past several years I have struck a balance between using disposable products when away from home and reusable ones at home. Since the idea of hauling my own wet sack around is just too much for me.
Well I am sorry to say that after yet another month of perimenopausal flow, I think I am breaking up with these reusable hygiene products. Sure the pad feels like a personal pillow for your girly bits, that is until you overflow that bitch at 4am…then can we say mess?
My realization this morning at 4 am when I woke up looking like a gunshot victim from the lower half of my body is that sometimes disposable is good. Reminds me of last weekend when after years of cleaning with all natural products I broke down and bought bleach and Pine-Sol…I cleaned and cleaned and damn it, it felt good! While I doubt I will bring in the heavy cleaners weekly I have decided that sometimes we need a little something extra to get the place sparkly.
In the end, while I am probably not quite a green reject, at best I am only living a half green life, and I am completely fine with it. I like balance and moderation.