It wasn’t my intention to write another post similar to the last one but this morning while doing my daily prayer and meditation, I had a bit of an epiphany. I must stop comparing myself to others especially as it relates to parenting, its really starting to drive me crazy.
See, I spend a lot of time on-line. Back when I worked in an office or shelter (actually even at the homeless shelter I had an office), I could stop and take a break and chat at the water cooler or at someone else’s desk but seeing as how I work at home, that’s not really an option unless I want to wander upstairs and chat with the spousal unit who is hard at work in his office. No, what I do when I need to take a break is surf blogs and discussions boards, the past year or so I have become completely enamoured of crafty/Mom blogs. Oh, I love checking out blogs of crafty chicks who are either making gorgeous handicrafts or amazing meals every day from scratch. Don’t get me wrong, I do the cook from scratch thing except in many cases I keep my meals simple, I make a homemade soup but buy the bread from the store, you get the picture.
In some cases reading about the lives of others inspires me to try my hand at something different, like tonight I am making spaghetti from scratch but too many times I end up feeling inadequate especially when I end up talking to some of my local Mama buddies who don’t use childcare to work (yeah, the plans to take mini-me out of daycare went up in smoke, no way I can get my work done effectively so she is still in preschool/daycare 3 days a week) yet they seem to have the patience of a saint with their kids and still create beautiful meals from scratch when by Wednesday I am drained and ordering sushi for dinner.
No, sometimes comparing ourselves to others can create havoc and at this stage in life, I just don’t need it so I have decided to limit my blog surfing to Black or political issues, as a fairly uncrafty person why kill myself to be what I am not. Sort of how at the beginning of spring I had planned a large garden but when a good chunk of work fell in my lap, I had to give that up but truthfully digging in dirt is not my thing.
The good thing about getting old and with 36 only a few months away, I am getting older, its time to accept myself for who I am, and not some made up fairy tale version. Truth is I am not the most patient mama in the world and while I love reading to mini-me, after 15 minutes I get tired of playing in the floor with the little one and you know what, that’s ok. Elder boy at almost 17 seems happy and well adjusted and I rarely played in the floor with him and Lord knows my own folks didn’t get down and dirty with either me or my brother and we are ok.
So as we start a new season with the arrival of fall, maybe its a good time to survey your life and see what you can do to better love and accept about yourself. After all life is too short to strain to be what you are not..