To Bald or not to Bald

This is mature subject matter, its highly advised if you are related to me that you skip reading today’s post since you really don’t need to know everything about your mother, sister, etc…for everyone else, read away!

I almost hesitate to write this post but I can’t help thinking I can’t be the only one in this boat and as always it’s my duty to keep it real here. So what are we talking about? Ladies (and gents) we are talking hair and for once I don’t mean the stuff on ya head, I am talking going south to the va-jay-jay as Ms. Oprah calls it, yep I am talking hair down there!

Let me just get real with y’all, I am a kind of natural chick when it comes to that sacred area, oh its not the damn North Woods (come now) but my personal grooming of that particular area has always been pretty much make sure nothing is sticking out of the undies and make sure there isn’t an Afro rising up. Oh I tried to get super low once but having used the Spousal Unit’s trimmers for that shit all I ended up doing was creating a situation where I spent at least 3-4 days afterward walking around desperately scratching at my girl when no one was looking. I pretty much decided at that point fuck all that extra curriculum grooming, I mean shit its no longer a bikini wax, fuck we got Brazilians. Sphinx’s, etc its just too damn much for ya girl.

That was until recently when my Maine BFF, who is going through a divorce and a die hard feminist in her 40’s told me she decided to get a Brazilian and that basically pain aside she of the North Woods was never ever going back to the woods again! You gotta know my girl to understand this and she reads here so I say this with love, but in 5 years of friendship I have only seen her in a dress/skirt maybe once. She rarely wears makeup…its just not her thing for a variety of reasons but to a large degree related to why do women feel the need to do that shit? So sitting across from my girl who is also pretty broke telling me she is planning on getting the Brazilian on a regular basis dropped a nugget of an idea in my mind.

Now that the Spousal Unit and I are actively working on getting our groove back, that nugget of an idea has grown. Let me just say that all I have read on the subject of hair removal in the sacred space seems to indicate it could have some certain advantages. Wink…wink. Sign me the fuck up now!

So I figured since it’s time for my monthly waxing, unibrows and chins hairs being oh so unattractive that when I call to make my appointment this week I will also schedule in a waxing of my sacred space. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well this morning after reading up on what to expect, readers I must say I am all confuzzled. Do I go bald, leave a strip? Oh dear, my head is spinning. But not only is my head spinning frankly I am feeling a tad uncomfortable of the idea of letting the same lady who monthly waxes my brows and in July at the local Greek Fest serves me up a mean cup of a Greek coffee, see my junk so to speak. One description I read today explained that to the folks doing the waxing it’s really no big deal, sort of akin to getting your annual pap smear. I don’t know but for some reason it seems a lot easier to hop on the table, get the speculum inserted and get swabbed by someone I don’t ever see except for once a year than a lady who knows my husband and kids by name. Oh, I could go to a different salon but that seems even stranger….ladies, ladies, ladies how do you do this?

Furthermore as someone who has been attached since 1995, it seems that what is expected of women in that space has changed. I almost feel like a relic, I mean back then in 95 I didn’t know of anyone that was getting landing strips, etc but now I feel like the last hold out. Anyway to bald or not to bald, to go with my lady I know and trust or to a stranger, these are the questions.

9 thoughts on “To Bald or not to Bald

  1. I know one person who choose to go bald and at the time I just thought if was phase until, I was advised that her partner found it very sensual. I will admit that until your article I have not given the notion any thought. I do feel that its a personal choice that can be based upon many factors. I was just telling my husband the other day who is 51 that since I met him 20+ years ago we are both growing thinner hair in both our areas! We laughed cause its really no big deal…less is better as far as I am concerned. So do as you will if not already done! Have fun its all about life and living it to the fullest.

  2. Personal choice. Extra credit. No love lost if you pass on the wax. All true.

    But a clean start can be incredibly sensual. I feel more adventurous and my partner thinks it’s cute. You just gotta get through the next couple days/weeks of itchy grow-out. Something I’m very, very rarely willing to do.

    P.S. Great to find another sista blogging about the simple life. I just quit both my jobs and started a blog to keep notes on the de-stressing process. You think Maine is White? Well, you’re probably right. But you’re not alone! At least not in cyberspace…

  3. I don’t to see a flower without any petals. I would leave hair on the mound. It just seems so prepubescent to me. I just don’t like it. But then you have to ask what does the Spousal Unit like. You might be getting waxed up and he’s good with what he has. Make sure you ask.

    I will say this I hate stubble. HATE IT!!!! So you have to wait for a couple of weeks to wax it again. And then it looks all crazy and you’re itching like I was in Target when I got the idea to use that damn Nair which does not work on me. Pass! It’s only necessary for during bikini time. I had it done when I went to bootcamp back in 1994 because we had to swim and the thought of hair bumps was not the business. As it was I walked around blind because I wouldn’t wear my BC (birth control) glasses around the base.

    Time for an overshare: I like hair, now we don’t take back to Africa-no braiding and beading lol but on women I like to be able to play in the pubes. On men I don’t really care to be honest I can just cover the hair over with my hand while giving head if need be. Continuing with the overshare cuz we’re having that type of morning, I’m sitting here trying to remember if I feel a difference when the hair is longer or shorter. I’m going no difference because my clitty is on display and my g-spot is on the inside so hair or lack thereof is not a factor of my orgasm. I don’t know if it matters more if you have a small clitoris because then the hair may be in the way of the friction.

  4. Oh and if you do it go with your friend. And prepare to spread your asscheeks because I think the Brazilian takes the hair from everywhere! And I mean everywhere. LMAO! The stand-by for itchy buttcrack.

  5. Those “certain advantages” are exactly why I keep it bald more often than not. Having him push hair aside or come up with a curly strand or two hanging from his lips is funny to me but more work for him so I try to be courtesy. So, like Danielle said, ask what the Spousal Unit likes. Any other time, I barely notice any differences.

  6. Pretty much everything Danielle said, I’ll echo. The hair is there for a reason, so neither I or my partner remove it. I’ve been told it’s a turn-off, also, to see prepubescent pubes on an adult, too. Also, the few times I have done a small bit of trimming, I’ve had pain and irritation–that hair protects our fragile bits from getting overstimulated, which led to decrease in libido, so no thanks on that. Plus, I so have no need to start yet another maintenance item that costs $$ and upkeep, like that.

  7. A friend who is a woman’s health physician has told me that although its just anecdote she believes that women who remove the public hair are more prone to infections. She says that she thinks the hair serves as protection from bacteria/dirt etc.
    She seemed to be talking about the hair around the vagina rather than the public mound…

  8. I’ve been shaving my lady bits pretty much whenever I shave my legs, which honestly isn’t that often. Mostly laziness keeps me from keeping everything looking nice, but I will do it when I shave under my arms, and I will do that if I think someone will see. I will go to the gym in capris with hairy legs, but my confidence doesn’t extend to my armpits. I think it’s because I am afraid people will associate hairy armpits with poor hygiene. Nate doesn’t care for prickly stubble, but he is fine with either end of the spectrum. And even when I am single, I usually maintain downstairs, just to make things easier for my period.

    As for what “pattern” I do, I only shave what you wouldn’t see from the front. Makes me feel a little more post-pubescent.

  9. Pingback: No more bushes!

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