To Bald or not to Bald

This is mature subject matter, its highly advised if you are related to me that you skip reading today’s post since you really don’t need to know everything about your mother, sister, etc…for everyone else, read away!

I almost hesitate to write this post but I can’t help thinking I can’t be the only one in this boat and as always it’s my duty to keep it real here. So what are we talking about? Ladies (and gents) we are talking hair and for once I don’t mean the stuff on ya head, I am talking going south to the va-jay-jay as Ms. Oprah calls it, yep I am talking hair down there!

Let me just get real with y’all, I am a kind of natural chick when it comes to that sacred area, oh its not the damn North Woods (come now) but my personal grooming of that particular area has always been pretty much make sure nothing is sticking out of the undies and make sure there isn’t an Afro rising up. Oh I tried to get super low once but having used the Spousal Unit’s trimmers for that shit all I ended up doing was creating a situation where I spent at least 3-4 days afterward walking around desperately scratching at my girl when no one was looking. I pretty much decided at that point fuck all that extra curriculum grooming, I mean shit its no longer a bikini wax, fuck we got Brazilians. Sphinx’s, etc its just too damn much for ya girl.

That was until recently when my Maine BFF, who is going through a divorce and a die hard feminist in her 40’s told me she decided to get a Brazilian and that basically pain aside she of the North Woods was never ever going back to the woods again! You gotta know my girl to understand this and she reads here so I say this with love, but in 5 years of friendship I have only seen her in a dress/skirt maybe once. She rarely wears makeup…its just not her thing for a variety of reasons but to a large degree related to why do women feel the need to do that shit? So sitting across from my girl who is also pretty broke telling me she is planning on getting the Brazilian on a regular basis dropped a nugget of an idea in my mind.

Now that the Spousal Unit and I are actively working on getting our groove back, that nugget of an idea has grown. Let me just say that all I have read on the subject of hair removal in the sacred space seems to indicate it could have some certain advantages. Wink…wink. Sign me the fuck up now!

So I figured since it’s time for my monthly waxing, unibrows and chins hairs being oh so unattractive that when I call to make my appointment this week I will also schedule in a waxing of my sacred space. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well this morning after reading up on what to expect, readers I must say I am all confuzzled. Do I go bald, leave a strip? Oh dear, my head is spinning. But not only is my head spinning frankly I am feeling a tad uncomfortable of the idea of letting the same lady who monthly waxes my brows and in July at the local Greek Fest serves me up a mean cup of a Greek coffee, see my junk so to speak. One description I read today explained that to the folks doing the waxing it’s really no big deal, sort of akin to getting your annual pap smear. I don’t know but for some reason it seems a lot easier to hop on the table, get the speculum inserted and get swabbed by someone I don’t ever see except for once a year than a lady who knows my husband and kids by name. Oh, I could go to a different salon but that seems even stranger….ladies, ladies, ladies how do you do this?

Furthermore as someone who has been attached since 1995, it seems that what is expected of women in that space has changed. I almost feel like a relic, I mean back then in 95 I didn’t know of anyone that was getting landing strips, etc but now I feel like the last hold out. Anyway to bald or not to bald, to go with my lady I know and trust or to a stranger, these are the questions.

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