Wine, Judgment and Motherhood

Yesterday one of my favorite bloggers tweeted her latest post and when I read it, all I could do was shake my head. Seems that ABC’s Good Morning America featured this piece and well as you can imagine it got folks to talking. In case you don’t feel like clicking or can’t click the piece was on the growing increase of moms getting together with fellow moms and their kids and well having an adult beverage in their time together. Really? This is newsworthy?

I have a confession. I am a mom, hell I have been one for exactly nineteen and a half years and well I like to have adult beverages. In fact there are many evenings that frankly after I get the 6 year old down for the night that the Spousal Unit and I relax with a bottle of two buck chuck or even some quality wine. See, when we signed on to become parents we did not sign on to stop being adults who well do adult things.

However based off the fact that from time to time I have been known to use my social media while relaxing and sipping my wine, I have actually had a few moms online accuse me of well, being unmotherly…my crime? Drinking wine. Now I admit I thought maybe these gals were just a tad uptight (see that wine can snatch that bug out the ass) but after reading a few pieces on the subject of moms having a drink, it seems somewhere along the line in uber parenting of the 2000’s many of us have missed the memo that motherhood does not mean you stop being an adult.
Obviously if you need that drink or its becoming a clutch, it’s time to step back and evaluate the situation. Also there should be no need to state the obvious that if you are getting blitzed out of your mind on a daily basis well that too is bad. That said, what is wrong with a few moms getting together while the kiddos play? Most play dates last several hours and if food is consumed and mom is only having a glass of wine for most folks in no way will their judgment be impaired. Now I know drinking and driving is an issue but for folks that can walk home or get a ride home, I see no harm. Frankly if the idea is that moms can’t effectively parent while impaired anyway, let’s talk sleep deprivation. Seriously, in 6 years of parenting the girl child, sleep deprivation screwed with my abilities far more than any glass of wine. I did not start sleeping full nights until she was damn near 4! Only in the past year is my body finally in a place where my mind feels clear because I am well rested.

Back in the days of yesteryear both the Spousal Unit and I remember our own mothers getting together with friends and chatting for hours and adult beverages being consumed. Hell, I grew up in an extended family that had many drinkers, some had drinking problems but many did not. One look at a show like Mad Men and you see the days of yesteryear and guess what Mamas drank. Frankly as women when we make judgments on what mothers should or should not do we are no better than the patriarchy that tries to hold us down by putting us in predetermined boxes of what womanhood and motherhood should or should not look like.

In the end it’s about personal choice, if you can’t drink that’s fine but to judge other women/mothers that do, well it’s not right and in the end it’s just another piece of the Mommy Wars that divide rather than bring is together.

As for me, let me get my Merlot!

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