Now that most of this week’s posts have been thoroughly depressing, after all aging and ill parents just aren’t fun blog fodder, no matter how you spin it. Let’s get a little light and fluffy for Friday, let’s talk about Beyonce and that GQ cover. Go take a look if you have been in a cave and avoid pop culture, trust me, you want to see this.
Word on the street is that Beyonce gave birth a year ago and now look at her smoking hot body. Um, well it does look good but airbrushed, can I say that or will the bees from the beehive come and get me for talking about the queen? Seriously, she is a good looking girl, but can I just say that I am sick and fuckin tired of hearing how celebrity moms bounce back after having a baby. Dude, it’s easy to “bounce” back if for starters your body is essentially the tool of your profession. In other words you need to be thin in order to keep the shekels coming in, lest you end up begging on line or working the fryolator.
No, really, most celeb moms have far more access to assistance than us average Jane’s, I mean private chefs, people to clean their houses, do the laundry, trainers who will come to their house and actually work out with them and the list goes on. The average non-famous mom whether she works out of the home or in the home is just struggling to keep all the balls in the air. The more kids she has, the harder it is to keep the balls in the air. Hell, for some Moms, just bathing daily and leaving the house every day is good enough.
While I have no beef with Bey, what I do have beef with is the constant pressure on women specifically Moms to be hot and to look good. I mean look at poor Jessica Simpson, that is one celeb Mom who frankly during her pregnancy and afterwards looked a hell of a lot more like us non-celeb Moms complete with stretch pants and a few extra pounds and she was absolutely trashed by the media. Because oh noes…she wasn’t uber thin, she ate…how dare she??
Becoming a mom is one of those transformative experiences; it transforms your life in every way possible even down to the very way you sleep. The gestation period is nine months and yet for too many of us we assume that weeks after birthing a brand new human we will just snap back which frankly doesn’t make much sense to me. I often tell new mothers when they start fretting about their new bodies to give themselves at least nine months to adjust and get serious about “getting their bodies back”. Personally unless you are very young or in the case of Beyonce, very rich give yourself a couple of years post baby. I won’t presume to speak for every woman but having had two kids myself, it can take a long time to get back to yourself and even then you never quite go back. How can you? Babies change you, mentally, emotionally and in some cases physically.
Let’s not even discuss the fact that if you are a little older, your body can start shifting naturally, helloooooo non-perky breasts. Have you ever seen a pair of forty year old breasts belonging to a woman who nursed a baby or two? They are beautiful, but sans a good bra, unless that woman is one of the genetically lucky ones and I am not talking about you. Her twins are no longer perky and sitting up at attention, nope, they are tired and they have stretched out a bit.
I could go on and on but I will stop while I am ahead. I won’t knock Beyonce and her hard work because she really does seem to be one hard working woman but I need the media and women’s magazines to stop telling me and millions of women like me that if I do XYZ that I too can have a body like Bey’s. No, I won’t. The only way I am ever getting a body like Bey’s or even anything in that neighborhood is to give up my paying job and spend 8 hours a day working out. Even then I would still need my own personal chef to come in and make my daily, low calorie gruel taste good. Yeah, like I am going to do that. For most of us if we hit the gym or in my case yoga studio 3-4 times a week we are doing good enough. So where is the cover for the smoking hot “good-enough” mom? Oh, it’s just in my head…oh well. Happy Happy Friday!