Yesterday, I was out with my almost 3 year old daughter and witnessed a rather interesting incident that only reconfirmed to me that the roots of Black anger as it relates to sistas and the fact that the anger starts young.
The girl and I were having one of our Momma and me times at a local cafe here in our small town, it’s a neat cafe especially since it’s owned by a gay interracial (1 partner is Latino, the other is white) couple who has a daughter almost a year younger than the girl. Well we were sitting next to their daughter’s playpen which they keep in the cafe since they work together, their daughter is a cute child, no doubt but as you can imagine she is a white child, not that there is anything wrong with that but I am trying to set the scene here so bear with me.
Anyway cute white child who I will call Z is playing and cooing in her playpen the way almost 2 years olds do, when a middle age white female customer on her way out, walks over to Z’s pit and starts carrying on with how beautiful Z is, yada, yada. Well my daughter, The Girl starts watching the exchange in that way that kids do when they see a kid with something they don’t have, after about 5 mins, middle age woman finally puts a sock in it and heads to the door but not before turning towards towards my daughter who had been intently looking at this exchange and saying you are a cutie too but keeps walking. The way she said it was as an afterthought. It was a what the hell kind of moment, for just a second a strange look flashed on my daughter’s face, yet in that second I knew that expression because even though at almost 3 she can’t articulate it, as a Cocoa brown sista who was attended predominantly white schools, I know that feeling. That feeling that says maybe I am not cute.
Now you may be reading this, thinking come on Black Girl aren’t you reading alot more into this… well to be honest no, when you have as a whole, a group of people (Black women) who often will do anything to change their looks to fit the expected norm of cultural beauty (hello, relaxer, weave and blond hair on cocoa complected sistas) I don’t think I am reading too much at all.
Its one of the reasons that despite the fact that The Girl’s daddy aka my spousal unit is white, that the girl will never get a white doll from me, shit I look back at my own baby pictures and see me hugged up with a white doll and wonder what the fuck were Moms and Pops thinking.
No, in this society even at a young age the message slowly seeps in that white is the best, white is beautiful and its small exchanges like what I witnessed where in just a moment of time, I saw my daughter question why middle age woman did not treat her like Z, that start the long road to what at 35 or 40 becomes an angry Black woman.
Now off I go to get my iced coffee, until next time.