It will be 4 years this summer since I started this blog, it started off really as a way to talk about my life in Maine and see if maybe I could find a few other Black folks in Maine or near Maine. However over the course of time this space has evolved, I guess I am officially a memoir blogger since basically most of this space is about me and my journey through life. Along the way I started getting involved in other forms of social media as a way to connect with others.
I will say that honestly it’s been a great ride, but sometimes you have a day that makes you question everything. I have periodically taken blogging breaks when life is hectic, but last night I almost deactivated all my social media accounts and took down this blog and basically said fuck this shit!
This morning though I woke up in a calmer space and decided that I won’t let a few folks steal my joy. I have heard others say over the years that when you share your life in such a public way that it opens you up to criticism and I learned yesterday it is true. The details are unimportant though I will say it is true, and frankly it hurt. It hurt like hell.
I think sometimes we forget that we are dealing with real live humans on the other end and frankly while opening up may not be your thing, it’s no excuse to belittle others. I understand now why people are less inclined to share themselves and get raggedy in public, it makes others uncomfortable and well can open up a can of whatever.
I am still feeling raw but living authentically for me means taking the good with the bad. I don’t think sharing publicly makes you less of a person, or really says anything other than the fact we are a diverse group of people.
So yeah, someone stole my joy but I almost have it back, in the meantime I am a little raw.